Are There Really?

I know it says “Millions” on the tube, but I don’t think that there are millions in it really.
I tried to count them, and there are a lot …….

 ..... perhaps there are a few hundred, perhaps even a thousand, but not tens of thousands or big numbers like that. I think that they should just call them “Lots”.

Eurovision Song Contest 2010 – The Aftermath.

Just a quick catch up after the excitement of last night …. first this is what me and Darrell predicted at 9.59pm before the voting began …..

And this is our scorecard ….. we noted that if you sing a ballad, you get the wind machine thrown in for free, which is very nice if you have lovely long hair that blows about in a romantic nature.

We had a brilliant night ….. we laughed at the butterflies …. spilling a little of our Pepsi Max on the settee.

And the robot with a gigantic sparklers!

Look At My Bath Plug…..

That sounds a bit rude doesn’t it?

I can assure you that there’s nothing sordid going on, I just wanted to show you my bath plug …..

It’s in the shape of a fishes tail and looks like it’s going down the plug hole, how BRILLIANT is that?

More Eurovision Song Contest – It Just Gets Better …..

Look what you can download from the BBC Eurovision Song Contest site
 

…….Our National Flag …… woooo hooo, BRILLIANT – me and Darrell will be waving ours so hard there will be a fair breeze in our parlour!

……. Eurovision Party Recipes …….. Darrell says can we stick to our Pringles as he isn’t very keen on fish – and to be honest an excited Darrell full of Norwegian Fish Pie, with carrots and peas doesn’t bear thinking about …. so Pringles it is!

….. You can even print the lyrics off so that you can sing along, this is Finland’s entry, look at the long complicated words with lots of syllables ……. I think me and Darrell are going to be doubled up with laughter trying to join in this one …… even more reason not to serve up fish pie, carrots and peas for tea!

And finally Eurovision Eye Spy …….. I cannot tell you how excited I am now ….. I don’t know how me and Darrell will get through the next few hours before it begins!!!!

The Eurovision Song Contest – A Very Serious Business.

Guess what me and Darrell will be doing tonight? 

We have downloaded our score card from the BBC website, and have been to the Tesco Express in the village and got 4 litres of Pepsi Max, 2 tubes of original Pringles, a family bag of Maltesers and a large packet of onion rings (as part of our five a day) and we’re going to watch the Eurovision Song Contest ……… does life get any better?

 

We miss Terry Wogan greatly, but Graham Norton is growing on us. We like it when he makes “naughty” comments about the performers or their songs.

 

We are not sure about Josh’s chances ……. but we will be waving our flags and cheering him on from the comfort of our settee and praying that volcanic ash doesn’t blow over from Iceland causing interference to the satellite links etc.  That would really tee off the hosts in Oslo,  as it would our own good selves.

 

I wonder what you have to do to get to be one of those people who say “ Hello Norway, this is the United Kingdom calling, congratulations on your wonderful show tonight.  Here are the scores of the  jury here in London …………….. for Slovenia we give deux points” – How BRILLIANT would that be to do?

I will be making careful notes on all the songs and performers … on such things as hum ability, costumes, dancers, novelty extras like fire eaters or stilt walkers, and we will try to speak to each other in the accents of the countries as they take part ….. but we are not really sure what a Azerbaijan or Armenian accent sounds like, so I expect we will end up sounding very Wolverhampton with an twist of Irish and Spanish!

Anyway nous hopeons vous will be watching chez vous avec us sur votre settees tonuit!  Bonne Chance Angleterre!

World Cup Preparation.

Darrell and I went shopping to get our England shirts for the World Cup, we thought we had best do it in plenty of time as we didn’t want to be disappointed if they sold out.

Monkey Biscuits

Look what Louise, one of the Office Ladies bought me, monkey biscuits!

They taste all orangey and are shaped like monkey faces.

I hope this doesn’t make me a cannibal.

Getting My Flags Up.

The football on Monday night got me excited, the next time I see the Fabio and the England team they will actually be in South Africa …………… ENGGGGGGERRRLAND!

So I thought I would start my World Cup preparation ….. to show my support to our team.

I apologise for my slightly uneasy expression in  these pictures, as I don’t really “do” heights, but this is a small sacrifice,  when I think of all the intensive training the   ENGGGGGGERRRLAND team will be putting in during the next few weeks for the honour of the Queen and the people of England.

I am not going to festoon the whole house, that would look a bit common, just a few flags placed in strategic places will suffice ………this one is in my back garden, flying proudly from the kitchen extension.

Wall’s Viennetta – A Quandary.

There is a pub/restaurant across the road from our house that has just put up a sign offering this “meal deal”, but I am confused …..

It sounds a bargain, but what does it mean ……?
Do they serve you 2 rump steaks and a Viennetta on the same plate?

I’m not sure about the combination myself, I like rump steak and I like Viennetta, but I’m not sure about having them together.  When you put a piece of steak on your fork and then add a bit of Viennetta, surely it would melt?

I wonder what Marco Pierre White would have to say about this combination?  I think he would tap his knife a lot!

Introducing Rooney.

This is me and Rooney.  Rooney is sports mad and looks a bit of a bruiser, but he’s a real softie inside!

He has just been appointed to work for the Young Ladies PE Department promoting Sporting Activities..  He will be responsible for the “Sporting Word of The Week” – he tells me that this weeks word is “Scrum”, I thought he said “Scum” at first …… because I have seen the state the showers get in after the young ladies have used copious amounts of shower products!

Rooney will also have to book all the buses to get the various teams to their matches. He is an expert on all the  bus companies in the area and can quote all the sizes of the vehicles they have in their garages!  I have told him about the Banga bus and George, but I don’t think George would be available for duties of this nature ……. which is a pity.

I also told Rooney about me and Cyril doing the Race for Life and straight away he offered to whip us into shape.  I asked him to be gentle and then suggested that he might get himself a new pair of trainers ….. not that I am any sort of  fashionista but …….. his current ones hardly match his England kit do they?

The Valleys Are Calling

Tristan made a flying visit to the office on Friday as he had a fitting for a new gum shield in Birmingham.

He says he looks forward to popping in because he likes the poster of sheep the ladies have pinned on their wall.

He says “It makes me think of home, isn’t it”, doesn’t it”. He sat and gazed at it for ages and he sighed a lot, in a Welsh accent.

I wanted to say “Mint sauce.” to him, but that would have been in the poorest of taste!!!!!!

Hook A Duck – All The Fun Of The Fair But In Your Front Room!

The fair came last week, but to be honest I am not very keen on being spun round till I feel sick or bumped from behind  in a dodgem car resulting in a bitten tongue.  I prefer gentler fairground games of a chance……. like hook a duck.

So imagine my great delight when I found this little set in Ali at the Papershops’ 30p each or 4 for a £1 box …….

How BRILLIANT is this?  I put numbers on the bottom ……

And put them in a dish of water ……..
 
Darrell joined in too.

My only criticism is that the ducks have slightly odd faces, but for only 30p it seems a little churlish of me to say so.

Cadbury World – Part 3 - Sharing With Friends and Family.

I have had quite a few e-mails from people asking me what I bought for myself at Cadbury World.  Well, to be honest, I was very happy with just the free bits they gave me as I went around.  They were very kind and I was given two bags of buttons, two curly wurlies and a bar of dairy milk – a fair bounty of chocolate treasure.

I did look at all the different pens they had, but how many pens does a monkey need? Although I do like pens, I decided to use the ones I have already before buying any more, and anyway I have my photos for my souvenirs.

I asked Darrell what he would like and he chose a curly wurly and I had a packet of buttons, we ate them together as I told him of my adventures and how good it was to see Mr Collis’s monkey.

I have put the rest of the sweets aside to share with Aunty Jan and Lucy when she comes for Sunday dinner on Sunday.

Cadbury World – Part 2 - Time to Relax

Once I had done all my shopping for the Hungry Office Ladies I could relax and enjoy the attractions that Cadbury World had to offer ………

There was a lot to see. I thought this muscular gentleman must have been very good at restricting his chocolate intake, judging by his impressive abs,  “How unlike my own” I thought, as I studied this historic tableau!

And as I gazed up at the multicoloured pipes running across the ceiling I had a romantic notion of warm, liquid chocolate flowing through them …. but really I think that idea is just in the realms of Willy Wonka.

The car ride was very "sweet". When you went into the winter part they blew cold air on you, and all the little chocolate beans had very excited squeaky voices.

I was entranced by the alluring chocolate bunny, but not in a Molly type way. She had the aroma of caramel and chocolate around her, Cadburys must have had a special chocolate perfume commissioned for her that she dabs behind her ears and on her pulse points. It's the sort of smell that seems perfectly natural amongst all the chocolate at Cadbury World, but I am not sure what the reaction would be if she got on the Banga Bus reeking of Cadbury's Caramel ..... George might have to squirt his Fabreeze about after she had alighted the bus.

In one section it looked as if the walls were made out of chocolate, how BRILLIANT is that?  I would love to have one of my bedroom walls decorated in a similar way, in fact I am suprised that Laurence Llwellyn Bowen hasn't used the idea in one of his flamboyant room makeovers.  Trouble is, I could see Cyril trying to lick my walls, just to make sure they really weren't made of chocolate, and the idea of him doing that is very unsavoury.

Cadbury World was very busy and after an hour or so my head was banging, so it was nice to sit in the fresh air for a while and have five minutes to myself to ponder …….. about chocolate in all it’s many guises.