Who couldn't resist this lot- begging for a new home!
Between Christmas and June 2011 we became a bit of sanctuary for abandoned and unloved monkeys that we found and then rescued from e-bay. This is the story of how Monkey and I decided that our raison d'etre would be to help other monkeys just like us to find a new, happy and fulfilled life.
Our first job was to find decent outfits for our monkeys, who all came to us either naked or in grubby t-shirts, much to their very great embarrassment. Darrell, having always fancied himself as a bit of a Gok Wan was given the task of taking the monkeys to town on the Banga bus and restyling them. There was a minor hiccup in this arrangement when Primark, Wolverhampton stopped stocking monkey sized shoes, however, just in the nick of time, another source was found.
The next step was to go through all the e-mails we received from people wishing to adopt one of our monkeys. It was very important that each of our monkeys went to just the right home, so standards were set very high. When all this was sorted and photos exchanged, the adoptions were finalised with a letter of introduction, and an official adoption certificate, plus the payment of adoption fees and bus fare to their new homes.
Finally, before each monkey left us, they were given one of Darrell's holey stones to wear round their neck to show that they were a proper Mum's Monkey Monkey and then they were put on the Banga bus to start their new lives.
and these are their stories ........
NORM (Norman)
Norm (Norman) our first rescued monkey to be adopted on Wednesday 29th June 2011 - and is now happily living in Hampshire. He enjoys listening to Take That and Lady Gaga but cannot abide Bruce Forsyth. When Sir Bruce is on TV Norm is compelled to change channel such is his dislike. Norman has a healthy appetite but would prefer not to eat things covered with piccalilli or sardines as they make him heave.
GREGORY and ARRABELLA
Gregory and Arrabella were both adopted on Tuesday 26th July 2011 by Mr and Mrs W-R and didn't have very far to travel to their new home in Willenhall, which is very close to us.
Gregory is the older of the two and is very protective towards his little sister. He is a very kind, gentle soul who loves to spend a lot of his time reading and drawing. Gregory hopes that he will be able to do a bit of gardening at his new home and especially wants to have a go at growing sunflowers. Gregory is not fussy about his food and lists cauliflower and swede as his vegetables of choice.
Arrabella is very much girl of a very pink girlie type nature. She love bows and hairclips, handbags and bracelets and is also a dab hand in the kitchen. Her speciality is cupcakes with great swirls of pink icing and hundreds and thousands. Like Gregory she isn't precious at the tea table, carrots and peas being her vegetables of choice.
As soon as they got to there new home they sent us pictures - they looked so happy!
The natives seemed very friendly!
and Gregory got his wish to do a bit of gardening with Arrabella's help!
And we can see that they have been shopping for some new clothes too, we love Arrabella's
frock and flower.
HANK
Hank has gone to live with Di in darkest Hampshire with Marvin (see below). He is quite an accomplished musician, the tambourine and triangle being his instruments of choice, however we understand that Di is helping Hank achieve his ambition of learning to play the guitar just like his hero Hank Marvin. Hank has a wide circle of musical tastes but tends to gravitate towards the songs of Robbie Williams, Gloria Gaynor and Lady Gaga when it comes to doing a cheeky karaoke.
Hank and Marvin at home together
Hank very much enjoys watching X Factor and Britain's Got Talent and says he would just be happy to get to boot camp for either of these programmes. When it comes to food, Hank is traditional all the way through, pie, mash, peas, carrots and gravy followed by apple pie and custard which always goes down a treat. However prawn cocktail or jelly (of any flavour) would not bode well on Hanks tea table. We have asked Di to take Hank to the optician as we think he may have a slight squint. Hank is rather pleased about this as he has always hankered for a pair of heavy dark rimmed frames!
MARVIN
A settled Marvin with his bunny, his baseball cap and our postcard from Brixham
We think there may be a little German in Marvin's genes as he is often prone to use a few words of the Teutonic language such as "danke", "ja" and "bitte" when going about his business.
Marvin's main hobby is collecting small Lego figures that come some of the daily newspapers. And despite his rufty tufty exterior there is a little bit of the softy about Marvin, as he is doesn't really like being detached from his cuddly bunny or baseball hat, but perhaps when his is more settled, this attachment may not be as intense as it is at the moment. Marvin's food delicacies of choice would be cheese on toast with marmite and a slice of tomato followed by banana Angel Delight with chocolate buttons on the top, but NOT pilchards. As for television, nothing gives Marvin greater pleasure than a session of Create and Craft in the afternoon, when all his chores are done, with a nice cup of tea.
MARCEL
How very spooky, Marcel lives next door to Hank and Marvin with a young lady called Abigail. A bit of a Hampshire monkey enclave! Marcel is very French and has such a romantic accent, far more exotic than our dull Wolverhampton ones. Marcel says that he loves zee films, zee music and zee dancing to zee music. He enjoys reading, especially fashion magazines where he likes to keep on trend with zee latest designs coming from Pareeeee. He also likes to sketch a few designs himself . As for TV, it has to be Britain and America's Next Top Model, as Marcel is very interested in zee deportment of zee young ladies.
Marcel has zee very simple tastes in food, a smorgasbord of fine french fromages, a fresh baguette and a slice or two of zee onion suffice with good old English roly poly pudding and custard for pudding, c'est formidable! But zee baked bean is not looked upon with such relish, as Marcel would say ...."Ahhhh je deteste.... pah!"DAFYDD
Dafydd now lives in Surrey with Karen and Delilah Alice (below) is such a gentle soul. When all the Monkeys were staying with us prior to their adoptions it was obvious that Dafydd and Delilah were very fond of each other, in fact when Dafydd arrived in Surrey he was pining for Delilah so much he hardly touched his food, so Karen wrote back to us asking if she could adopt Delilah as well as she couldn't bear to see Dafydd in such a state and to be honest Delilah was pining away with us too! What are they like?
Dayfdd likes planned activities, as he is prone to palpitations at surprise activities or events and crowds. He is not to keen on the dark either and always has his torch with him, just in case the lights go out wherever he is. He enjoys crafting and card making and adding to his collection of novelty erasers.
Dafyyd likes good traditional food, nothing fancy, a Sunday lunch of roast lamb with all the trimmings hits the spot every time and a Tesco egg custard with a cup of tea in the afternoon is always very acceptable, shared with Delilah, naturally!
DELILAH ALICE
After a short spell apart, Delilah was soon reunited with Dafyyd in Surrey. When they were apart Alice lost the sparkle in her eyes and food became a stranger to her! However once back together with Dafydd she was soon knocking back her favourite baked potato and beans and strawberry delight for afters with gusto! Delilah is very much a girlie girl, always dressed in pink and never without a clip in her hair and whole plethora of bracelets on her wrist plus a handbag, always held a la Posh Beckham. When Darrell took her shopping to buy her adoption outfit he was heard to sigh "Dressing that girl is just a dream!" Delilah's only desire at the moment is to own a pair of fairy wings and a little crown and so is busy saving her pocket money up for them. She is also a dab hand in the kitchen with fairy cakes and biscuits with pink icing as her signature dishes.
BENJI
Benji has gone to Manchester to live with Chris and Roger, in fact Monkey took Benji to his new home in person, accompanied by Vinnie, who had a voluntary event up there at the same time. Benji thought everything had come up roses for him after the trauma of being abandoned on e-bay because the first thing he saw on his arrival was the garden ....which was beautiful, and Benji is very much into his horticultural activities.
Benji and Clint
There is nothing he likes better than weeding, mulching and pricking out in the green house, with poppies, marigolds and big fat roses being his perennials and hardy annuals of choice. Benji's hero of the gardening world is Alan Titchmarsh, who he admires for his laid back demeanor and affect on the ladies, however he is not too keen on "that" Charlie Dimmock who he thinks is far too gung ho. With Chris and Roger Benji can look forward to a whole cacophony of activities ranging from the church, to canoeing and cycling and Barber Shop harmonies and plenty of fish finger sandwiches with salad sauce and profiteroles for puddings served at Chris and Rogers delectable kitchen table.
Hi to you all
I hope you are all well and that you are keeping up with the weeding and feeding the fish. I am missing you all .... but it is exciting here. Yesterday we went to North Wales so that Chris could see her Mum and Dad and so that Roger could pick up a canoe. Roger had to take it for a little spin on the sea and let me have a sit in it so I could see what it would feel like. I cannot wait to have a proper go, but Chris said we would have to try to find a life jacket for me first. I can't wait. I hope you like the photo of me. I will write again soon. Lots of love ....Benji xxx
GEORGE
George is another monkey who is now living in Hampshire but as of yet has not bumped into Hank, Marvin or Marcel. Another monkey too who likes the quiet life and nothing better than dabbling in the culinary arts, specialising in cupcakes and a rich shortbread, and not being a stranger to the rubbing in method, as he likes to call it. His hobbies are also reflected in his TV viewing which include most cookery programmes but in particular Come Dine With Me and Nigella.
George enjoying Gino and Mel with a cup of tea and a biscuit.
His greatest ambition would be to have Nigella try his Rocky Road into which he puts in bits of chopped Turkish Delight and Maltesers. He thinks that if she had some secreted in a tin in her kitchen she would be down there in her nightie every five minutes until it was all eaten. What is he like? George prefers to holiday in Britain as he would prefer to be a stranger to the airplane, just the thought of flying has him reaching for a sick bag. Good old fashioned food is on Georges every day menu:- bangers and mash and rice pudding with a dollop of jam in the middle, food to comfort the mind, body and soul he says!
Hi Monkey, Darrell & Nigel
Just wanted to let you all know that after my long journey I have arrived safely in Hamstershire. My timing was perfect I arrived at elevenses so I was soon revived with a nice cuppa and a digestive. I'm pleased to say that the feeling has returned to my left foot which was a little cramped. I'm going to put my toothbrush in the bathroom in a minute and explore the kitchen. I'm also going to meet some new friends. I know I'll miss you all so please keep in touch and I'll send you my news too. This is all quite emotional for me but I'm sure that things will work out well,
Love George xx
CLINT
Clint left us on the Banga bus to go to Middlesex, which is quite near to London, so Clint only has to pop on a train to be in the metropolis .... all those theatres and museums plus the Queen and Trafalgar Square, it will be so exciting and romantic for him! Clint is football mad and is Fulham's No. 1 fan, in fact everyone remarks that Clint is the double of Clint Dempsey, even down to his very disarming smile! Clint has a lot in common with several of our other monkeys, especially his love for banana Angel Delight with chocolate buttons and cheese on toast, but cannot abide jelly babies, he says it's a texture thing! Clint also collects novelty erasers pens with funny tops, playing on the Penny Falls in the amusement arcades when he goes on holiday and the feel of fresh cotton sheets. Though a rufty tufty sort of monkey Clint is not ashamed to show his feminine side and very much enjoys a chick flick, wearing his pyjamas and dressing gown with a substantial box of Maltesers. Clint lists Countdown and Jeremy Kyle as his programmes of choice in an afternoon.
Clint with us all just before he caught the bus to Suffolk
JEFFREY
The last of our July/August adoptions in 2011 was Jeffrey who has gone to live near Bournemouth, near the seaside, which we are VERY jealous of. He is going to be the companion of Le Fox who it seems has lead a rather chequered life in Dorset beset with gambling and alcohol abuse, Le Fox's family contacted us via Facebook and thought that Jefferey would be a stabling influence on Le Fox, with his easy going, laid back chilled type nature. The family hope that they will learn to cook together and that Le Fox will come to enjoy watching Come Dine With Me, perhaps even hosting a dinner party with Jeffrey in time and Masterchef instead of being lured into town by the cheap booze, gambling dens and floozies of an unsavoury nature.
Jeffrey, what can we say, he arrived safely, a tad nervous and very hesitant to come into the house at first but over the weekend he soon settled even though we aren’t yet! with boxes everywhere, he made himself very useful making endless pots of tea and running round with Rich Tea and Bourbons. He was very quick to say his homemade biscuits were much better and we have had to promise that by next weekend we will have the cupboards stocked with baking ingredients.
Today he is here with me at work in the shop, high fashion women’s shoes are an area Jeffrey has never been accustomed to apparently, but he has mucked in and finds climbing to the stock room to get sizes a great form of amusement as well as exercise. He has mastered the till and we have taken endless pics to show you when we get our internet up and running .
He has just been paid and has already run off up the town to spend some of his pennies on a nice little denim jacket he saw, you didn’t say he was a spend thrift! ( I have warned him to keep his money box out of paws way with fox, otherwise it will be gambled away .
I haven’t yet said anything about our coming holiday in Santorini, mainly as my teen daughter is adamant that Greece doesn’t have a monkey immigrant agreement and he may get taken and she thinks he should stay and go to college with her instead, she is studying History A level so he may find that more fulfilling .
Oh, he has just come back in shop,, bags in hand, oh he appears to have found a good old fashioned sweetie shop and has bought himself a 1/4 of Lemon sherberts and a packet of refreshers.
He sends his very best regards to you boys and will send pics of adventures and his culinary delights ….. oh we have found that when he does enter the kitchen he has an alter ego, he becomes Pascal !,and takes on a very allo allo accent, all very strange but he seems happy .
Tre and Fox
