Darrell Does Am-Dram With Pre-Theatre Noms Noms!

Hilary,  one of the ladies in the office, knowing that Darrell had a thespian leaning, asked if he would like a ticket for her latest play ……. well, there was no way he was going to say no, especially as Hilary was playing the part of Alice in The Vicar of Dibley, which made her almost very famous in village circles!

And, as everyone else in the office was also going along to cheer Hilary on, it would have also been most rude to turn down their kind invitation to join them for pre theatre nom noms at a local hostelry.

The menu was very appealing, so Darrell decided to push the boat out and go for a starter, main and pudding, but as time was of the essence, he made sure that he held the table’s numbered spoon aloft at all times so that the staff did not inadvertently miss him out.

He said that his beer battered mushrooms were a triumph,  as was his ricotta, spinach and tomato tart with Mediterranean vegetables and baby potatoes …… unfortunately, his pudding of gooseberry and raspberry oatie crumble was rapidly consumed before it’s arrival could be recorded for prosperity ….. but he burped declared, it was certainly a 9.5 on the Richter Scale of pre Dibley noms!

And then, it was on to Pattingham Village Hall to see Hilary’s finest hour  …….

“Oh Hilary gave the most wonderful performance” he chirruped afterwards, “It was hard to believe that the person that we all know and love as being so inherently sensible, conscientious and efficient in the office could transform herself unrecognisably into a very ditsy Alice!”

“……. And, she even recognised and spoke to me as she came through the audience during the wedding scene, I felt so proud!”

I now fear the worst ….. that Darrell may have aspirations towards a leading role himself ….. although, perhaps again …… I can see him cast as a very noble Tinky Winky!!!! 

An Unexpected Shared Moment By Proxy

How very, very  kind ……

….. when I opened my desk drawer yesterday morning I found a few squares of Cadbury Caramel had been placed there ….. which was most unexpected and but nevertheless also most welcome ….. 

I should explain ….. whenever Sandra places an order for copier paper she also receives “the gift of chocolate” from the company as a thank you.  Sandra then squirrels away the said “gift of chocolate” to open and share during moments of stress and crisis  …. and yesterday, in my absence, I suspect that there must have been such a moment  ……

….. whilst it was unfortunate that there was such a moment that I was not privy to, it was extremely kind that in that much aforementioned moment I was still remembered ……  to have the pleasure, if not the pain!!!

Oh Nigel!

Nigel came home last night is a complete state of flux, he’d nipped into the poundshop on his way back from work and had treated himself to something he had wanted for ages …….

……… to wit one motion activated ornament of two tweeting birds! However, when he first tried it out, it didn’t work, no matter how much he moved about there, wasn’t one single tweet,  but when Darrell delved into it’s machinations he discovered that the batteries were decidedly on the rusty side…….

….. but fortuitously, or not so fortuitously depending how you look at it, Darrell had some spare batteries in his room, and so Nigel’s momentary moment of grave disappointment was quickly and simply relieved, and then Castle Greysquirrel was filled with the sound of tweeting birds when any one of us so much as moved an inch.

Nigel is not much of an ornithologist, I think it was the aforementioned motion activated tweeting that attracted him to this objet d’art rather than the species of bird ……

So I am leaving it up to Darrell to tell Nigel what sort of birds they are  …..  when he undoubtedly does!!

Garden Plans Afoot

There is much excitement and activity dans le bottom of our jardin ….. organised and co-ordinated by our self appointed project manager Darrell …….

It’s been a bit of a worry for a while as none of us profess to being anything other than fair weather gardeners  ….

……. but under Darrell’s supervision and a not a little input from Hugh, Darrell’s best friend and mentor,  who leads the showbiz life in Notting Hill, it’s beginning to take on a very new shape and feeling …..

…… which Darrell informs me will not only be condusive to providing us with a haven of peace and sanctuary at the end of a long day,  but can also be transformed into an area for bespoke wild parties of a London type nature on high days and holidays …….

I am not sure what I think about the aforementioned “bespoke, wild parties of a London type nature”…… however I am going to place my trust Darrell …….

…… and his bent for industrial chic and keep you informed of his progress!!

I Spy …..

I spy ….. with my little eye …….

……. something beginning with ……

……. C!

A Five A Day Faux Pas …..

Oh mon dieu, we seem to have found ourselves with an overwhelming surfeit of fruit this week ….. and we are girding our lions loins for a very robust 7 to 10 a day regime!

I am afraid it was a case of very blurred lines and misunderstanding as to who who was responsible for what shopping this week …….

….. mainly due to Nigel spilling his lemon barley all over our carefully prepared shopping rota …..

…… ……  resulting in much guess work and inky deciphering where Darrell assumed it was his week for the purchase of fruit and that I would be taking charge of  the root veg, legumes and salad ……. except that I thought it was the other way around, and I was in charge of the fruit, and because of our hectic schedule we failed to consult each other on the confirmation of roles!!!

So this week …..  we shall be mostly eating a lot of fruit and replacing our normally de rigueur fresh vegetables for the frozen vegetables we have in the freezer and then I shall be preparing a new rota and laminating it in the office!!! What are we like?

Oh No. No, No, No, No …….

The tele has an awful lot to answer for …….especially to the susceptible …….
….. to wit, one Nigel!

He has seen the ad where a car is absolutely covered with a thick and luxuriant miracle cleaning snow foam by way of a foam gun attachment …… and now they are selling it at MotorWorld, which is at the end of our road and Nigel’s poor mind has gone into overdrive as to the sheer possibilities such an aforementioned foam with gun attachment could bring  ….. none of which have anything remotely to do with cleaning a car  ……

He has also dragged Darrell along to the shop window to ponder and debate its potential …….

My only salvation is the price …… thankfully way, way, way beyond Nigel and Darrell’s present joint means …… I just hope the poundshops don’t bring out their own cut price equivalent …… then I would really be in trouble!!

*WARNING - DEMON FOAM IS JUST FOR CLEANING CARS AND SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR ANY OTHER FRIVILOUS ACTIVITY!

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHttWKARByw

What More …….

What more glorious breakfast can there be than  ……..
…… finishing off the night before’s pizza ……
……. nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!!!!

Reunited …… And It Feels Sooooooo Good!

Although we were still worried about Nigel, and how his shop “lock in” experience might impact on him in the long term, Darrell and I did manage to get a slightly better nights sleep than the night before  …. however I was still aware of some tossing and turning  and a few heartfelt sniffs coming from Darrell’s room, but I decided it best to just leave him be ……

Needless to say, Darrell was up very early the next morning and managed to get a little toast and Marmite, our savoury spread of choice, down him, before sitting and watching the clock until it was time to catch the bus to town for the appointed 2.30pm, when he was to collect Nigel from Colin, the gentleman who had taken a such shine to Nigel and offered him hospitality for two nights

Darrell said he felt robustly sick and nervous ……. ……… even though he knew Nigel would be there ….. and spotted Colin straight away on his till by his very kind and jolly demeanour …..

“Here’s the little fella,” he beamed “…… and he’s got something to show you!”

“I took a picture of him with my monkey on the biscuit tin, I had to take it away from them in the end …..  honestly, they could eat biscuits for England those two!”

There were tears …… in fact the whole of the check out area filled up, as everyone embraced Nigel’s story.

Nigel thanked Colin for giving him food, shelter and wonderful hospitality under very exceptional and unusual circumstances, and for the backstage tour of the shop, especially the confectionary storeroom ……

…….. and promised to keep in touch with him and his Monkey. There followed more tears and a round of applause from all the shoppers!

Once outside Darrell gave Nigel the biggest, most humongous hug he had ever given, taking poor Nigel’s breathe away, “Don’t you ever, ever do anything like this ever again, do you understand? We thought we had lost you forever, and then where would we have been? I am not letting go of you ‘till we are back home, in fact I may never let go of you again!”

And no matter how much Nigel wriggled, Darrell was true to his word……

…. only everso slightly loosening up when they looked at Nigel’s photo on the bus

Oh Nigel ….. if only you knew what you had put us through!!!!

Ohhhhhhhh Nigel …..

Needless to say sleep was a very much a stranger to Darrell and myself last night for worrying about Nigel, we made cups of tea throughout our ordeal, but I am afraid most were left to go cold.

As day dawned Darrell and I got back on the phone, but Darrell was beginning to show signs of loosing the plot, so I am afraid I had to tell him, VERY robustly, to pull himself together “and grow some!”, quite where I got such a crude phrase from goodness only knows,  but it seemed to do the trick.

However once again, all we got was a constant, constant  ringing.  It was early, I reasoned ….. people have to unlock and attend to early morning retail duties ….. I would continue to phone, but at intervals …. but still nothing.  It was the longest, longest morning ever …..

Then, at about 11o’clock our phone rang, it was DiscountUK, they understood we’d been ringing them ……. oh mon dieu, my words just spilt out in an almighty verbal torrent,  “I don’t suppose you’ve found a small monkey answering to the name of Nigel have you?”,  I blurted, not daring to contemplate mine or Darrell’s reaction if the answer had been no.

“Is he wearing a blue t-shirt?” came back the answer

“OMG yes,” I cried “Have you got him?”

“ We have indeed” was the reply “We took him back to the office after closing time, he was found in the Seasonal Produce section after we’d locked up, totally oblivious that we had closed!” ……

“We’ll come and collect him right now!” I cried “ Thank you, thank you sooooooooo much!”

“Well…… erm, perhaps, maybe not today?” replied the gentleman “Obviously, we didn’t want to leave him alone in the shop overnight ….. he’s rather a character isn’t he? One of the lads took a such shine to him he offered to put him up for the night to meet his own Monkey, and he’s had such a wonderful time he’s still there!!!!!!”

The relief that filled mine and Darrell’s heart was much, much  more than either palpable and tangible and even robust didn’t touch it …… Nigel was safe, that’s all that mattered,  but goodness only knows why he didn’t tell them where he lived, all the excitement of a shop lock in and the prospect of a sleepover with a new friend must have just turned his head …….

It was agreed that Nigel could stay another night, he had been not an ounce of trouble and would be waiting at the middle checkout with the gentleman who had taken such an aforementioned shine to him when he came in to do the 2.30 shift  …… when, hopefully a much more composed Darrell, could collect him and bring him safely home, back to Castle Greysquirrel!

OH NIGEL, what are you like???? !!!