Darrell Is Officially Now Able To Look For Lurve ……

Despite my greatest fears ….. Darrell’s profile has been excepted by his online dating site of choice! Woooo hoooo hoooo hooo hooo!!

However, disappointingly, they have still not accepted any of the photos he has submitted so far as his main profile image, because they say his “face is not visible” ?????? But, they have allowed the rejected pictures to go into his gallery ….. which means that any young lady who is “Darrell Curious” will be able to see if he “ticks any of her boxes” of a physical appearance type nature,  when she clicks onto his profile!

So as far as Darrell is concerned,  it’s a win, win situation.

He’s only been online for a matter of days but already he’s had a little bit of interest,  although no likes or messages yet …… but who knows ………..  what the romantic future may hold!

Nigel Ponders …..

If a cannibal ate a clown would it taste funny?

Oh Dear ….

I think I will have to stop Darrell from watching “Embarrassing Bodies” it’s turning him into a right hyperdermic  hypothermic hypochondriac. There are also some bits and pieces of his body that are troubling him that I would prefer not to hear about,  let alone see, especially at the breakfast table every morning!

Oh Dear … I Fear The Worse ….

Darrell has been on tenderloins ever since he submitted his profile to his on-line dating site of choice ….. it only took 24 hours for his on-line bubble to spring a metaphorical leak!

Now,  above is the picture that Darrell submitted … quite a dashing shot,  if I may say so.  …. which undeniably encapsulates the “essence” of Darrell perfectly!  There must be a software glitch on their website, what other reason could there be for them rejecting it by saying  “Your face is no visible”!

Darrell is thankfully philosophical at the moment …. his picture may have been rejected … which can easily be remedied by submitting another picture when he has five minutes ….. but surely they won’t reject his considered and very well thought out personal profile?

At least Nigel seems to be benefiting from Darrell’s non- dalliance, offering solace to Darrell as they watched Love Actually together,  rather than be encumbered by a “female lady person” as Nigel calls them!

What are they like?

Darrell … Trying To Find Love .. Online

You know I am get a touch wary whenever Darrell goes quiet, especially when he is on the computer …. and yesterday was no exception ….

It seems that Darrell is looking to find “lurve” through the medium of on-line dating  ……. I knew I was letting him watch too much unsupervised Millionaire Matchmaker!

He told me that he had decided right from the very start that he was going to be robustly honest in a Hello Magazine type way when writing his profile …

… so as not to mislead any young lady who liked the sound of him and thus might then wish to “message” him …

….. even if it was brutally warts and all …. if he has a verruca then he was going to declare it!

He asked me to check everything he had put down thoroughly before clicking the “next” button ….

…. I found his honesty very moving in parts and found myself stifling several manly sniffs.

Choosing his profile picture then took us quite a while as you can imagine with Darrell, as once again he wanted to be duly diligent as not to mislead.

…. If he was lucky enough to agree to meet a prospective young lady,  how awful would it be if that said young lady in question walked right past him on their first date because his picture bore no resemblance to how he looked in the flesh!!!

However, the worrying part for me will be waiting for Darrell’s profile to be approved, especially after what happened when he and Nigel applied to be The Face of Kinder ….  the hope in his heart at the moment could be shattered by another rejection …..

…. especially in matters of “lurve”!

Intrepid Nigel Goes Foraging At Darrell’s Behest ……

Unfortunately,  the bottom of our garden has become very overgrown, almost junglesque ….. and it’s hard to know what’s down there anymore ….. but Darrell had a funny feeling in his water that there could be some long lost strawberry plants “somewhere” amongst all the weeds and random foliage and managed,  with very little persuasion, to talk Nigel into going in there and foraging for forgotten fruits ……

….. reassuring him that in his high viz vest off it would be easy to pin point his position and hoist him out with a broken branch should he meet with any unexpected hazards of a perilous type nature!

All you could see for the first five minutes or so was a slight twitching in the aforementioned foliage,  this was shortly followed by sharp plaintive yelp from Nigel as he stung his bare ankles and feet on cluster of stinging nettles …. and then finally another yelp, this time of a jubilant variety  …. when Nigel struck fruit! Darrell was indeed correct …there were strawberries in them there weeds!

Darrell quickly rushed inside to get Nigel a bowl in which to gather his plunder,  …. yelling words of encouragement to him as he picked and urging Nigel not to yield against the temptation of eating any of the said fruit before he emerged from the “bush” …..

The kid done well, not the most mahoooosive of harvests …. but the fruit was ripe, juicy and exceeding plumpious ….

….. an ample sufficiency when shared between the three of us, served with a generous dollop of Cornish ice cream and a tiniest of squirts of squirty cream ….. nom, nom, nom!!! 

And poor Nigel’s feet and ankles? ….. Swathed in a dressing of dock leaves by Darrell …. Nigel, a hero in his own tea time!!!!!!!! 

Confectionary Of Work Choice

At times chocolate, in whatever shape or form isn’t the best confectionary for the work situation …. especially in this current very clement weather when smeared,  melted chocolate on paperwork such as minutes of great import or urgent stationary orders is not really  the “professional”  look we like to go for …..

So our current confectionary of office choice are Tesco Butter Mintoes, nom, nom, nom!

Darrell in particular,  finds them strangely comforting when there is a pressing and mahoooosive rush,  bulk,  confidential document shredding consignment to be done, especially as the end of term is looming and at time fraught ….

“They hit the spot every time”  he says, when proffered one “And the sucking thereof thus helps to keep me calm and in a good place, as opposed to of all over the place and panicking robustly!”  What is he like?  But I have to admit that Tesco do make exceeding good butter mints,  that don’t make the roof of your mouth sore if you suck too many!!!!

It’s A Baby .... Of A Royal Type Nature!!

Emotion has been rampantly rife throughout the portals of Castle Greysquirrel at the wonderful news of the arrival of William and Kate’s baby boy ….. Unfortunately, however, along with the joyous news and unbridled nationalistic pride heralded a one off, celebratory return of Darrell’s erstwhile wig! I am afraid  its resurgence may have had something to do with a most ample and sufficient supping of a very ambient bottle of congratulatory champagne …… well it would have been rude not to raise our glasses to the little boy, wouldn’t it!!Obviously the drink was accompanied by robust and at times heated debate as to what the little one should be called …..…… Nigel put forth Tyler as his name of choice …. Darrell quite fancied Brandon or Mason but I prefer the more traditional names ….. so for me … James Alexander would be a good, strong, manly name that would sound OK having King added to it later!!!

Repeat Performance ….

Following on from Nigel’s, (ably assisted by Darrell) lolly counting duties of yesterday  …. their services have been called upon again today, this time by the RS Department ….

…. who needed Nigel to make sure that there were enough Yummys, (5p fruit flavoured chews)  to give out at the “Bible Amnesty” they are arranging for later on in the week …..

While counting, Darrell and Nigel couldn’t help but debate that 5p seemed to be an awful lot of money for just one sweet that they could easily fit in their mouths in one go….

What are they like?

It’s A Hard Job ….

The end of term is fast approaching and it is a time when we can find ourselves called upon to help with jobs not usually in our remit ….. which are often ever so slightly more exciting than our normal chores.

Yesterday Nigel was called upon to do some sweetie counting of great import in preparation for Sports Day ….. the PE Department having been pointed in his general direction by Cook Lady after they had enquired as to a suitably trustworthy and meticulous mathematician who would be able to allocate enough lollies per class for after the event.

Darrell, unselfishly, volunteered to be Nigel’s armed guard during the rigorous counting process and to make sure that Nigel didn’t sample to many of the goods under the guise of freshness control!

Auntie Jan’s Castastrophe!!!

We had a very upsetting call from Auntie Jan yesterday ……

…… informing us, in her usual very calm way, that she had broken her foot!  She said that she had just been sitting, minding her own business,  when the door bell rang and she got up very quickly not realising that her foot had gone to “asleep” and as a result she just went over on it ……….

Needless to say grapes (plus nectarines, and easy peel oranges)  were duly purchased, and Darrell and Nigel were on the bus to Granny G’s, where Auntie Jan is convalescing before you could say “scalpel please nurse”!

Both Darrell and Nigel admitted to being very “cast curious”, having never seen a real live broken foot before ….. and were quite relieved to see that Auntie Jan’s toes looked quite normal and not all grossly purple and blue, swollen and mangled as they had debated on the bus during their mission of mercy ….

They both felt that they ought to make an attempt to look professional and so tried to feel for a pulse …. but worryingly couldn’t find one!

However, they did remark quietly to each other, over the caste,  how fortuitous it was that Auntie Jan’s toes were quite well manicured and presentable at the time of her accident ….. a fungal nail infection wouldn’t have looked half as ambient. Sometimes they can be such an embarrassment to me!

Needless to say that Auntie Jan’s volunteering activities will now be severely curtailed for a little while ….. so I dare say we may well see some of the major national sporting events cancelled in the coming weeks too.

Auntie Jan is not very good at doing nothing, even sitting eating grapes all day can rapidly loose its appeal …… perhaps,  if we can persuade “someone”  to part with a few decopatch papers, ric rac braid and flat backed gems Auntie Jan could jolly up her crutches a bit and turn them into on trend and de rigueur fashion statements!

Oh Darrell …. A Small Boy’s Mind!!!

While Darrell and Nigel were exploring Little Venice, Darrell insisted that Nigel should take a shot of him standing in this fairly innocuous location, artistically posed and framed under shady leafy foliage …..

However, all is not what it seems ……. as it was the restaurant in the distance that had caused Darrell very great amusement ….. and had they more time Darrell was desperate to explore the notion of a “tossed fest” …. but diligently noted in his diary that when he is in London next, in a month or twos time to stay with Hugh for a spot of Summer Time London Lounging ….. that he would return ….. to experience the Tossed effect for himself!

What is he like?

The Morning After The Night Before!

Darrell and Nigel arrived back at their hotel after The Stones concert still humming, very happily Honky Tonk Women and singing You Can’t Always Get What You Want,  but it is safe to say that as soon as their heads hit the pillow they were both out for the count! But, in the morning they both woke up in robust and perky mood, knowing that time was of the essence if they wanted to make the most of the time they had left in London ….. so after a swift coffee courtesy of the complimentary tray…..Nigel hit the shower first (still sans his high viz vest), followed by Darrell …

….. and then it was down to the Breakfast Room for a continental repast of toast, slices of cheese, a hard boiled egg or two, fruit juice and more coffee.  There was jam (confiture), and/or marmalade, but sadly no Marmite, our savoury spread of choice!

In the aforementioned Breakfast Room there was a display of useful information cards for tourists …. Nigel was particularly taken by the “How to Speak Cockney Rhyming Slang” one,  of which he availed himself,  so that when he went out into London he would be able to have a go at talking to the locals in their own language to show them that he had made an effort….. instead of just shouting at them to make himself understood!

They decided to visit Little Venice just down the road ….. it was beautiful …neigh stunning ….

……. and just sooooooooooo  romantic ….

………. even too romantic, if that’s possible, with a barge that was a Puppet Theatre ….. barges that took you to London Zoo or Camden Lock ….

….and barges that were turned into even more romantic cafes, where it would have been rude not to indulge in a drinkie poo  ……

…… or two …. or three

…..and where ducks swim in long romantic lines!

It made the canal, or “cut” as it tends to be called in Wolverhampton look like it was on a different planet ….. and made dragging themselves away very difficult for Darrell and Nigel.