Someone Explain To Nigel Please!

There is a rather nice looking beauty salon at the top of Evesham High Street. To be honest, considering Darrell’s very rigorous cleansing, toning and moisturising routine, I am surprised he hasn’t ventured in yet, even if just to pick up a price list of treatments.

It was in fact Nigel who noticed the board outside first. Nigel mused that it all sounded rather lovely in a pleasure and pain type way, being rubbed with coconuts and then enveloped in a milky wrap, perhaps you could even eat it!

Or, there was an ocean wrap, Nigel’s fertile imagination went into overdrive,  wondering if it might involve being rubbed down with seashells, a conch perhaps and then wrapped in seaweed, if so, he hoped they really checked it thoroughly for crabs, no one likes an unexpected nip when they are trying to wallow in luxury.

However, at the bottom, he saw something that he hadn’t heard of, Darrell does go on and on about his cellulite, but Nigel had never heard him ever mention his colon …… and there were no clues on the board as to what this kind of therapy might involve.  Do I tell him?

Darrell And Nigel, Budding Entrepreneurs?

Just below the kitchen window we have a perfect view of two fishing decks …….

……. and yesterday I noticed that Darrell and Nigel were having what looked like a very deep and meaningful conversation while watching a couple of fishermen.

Now, when those two are in said deep meaningful conversation I know there may be reason to worry.  Then, I heard the words “bacon” and “sausage” and then a little while later “you ask him”.  With that I girded my loins (or lions).

It seems that the pair of them have been planning a little entrepreneurial enterprise by offering bacon and/or sausage butties and a cup of tea, cooked local and fresh!  Nigel was to be the runner and nip down to the river bank  and casually enquire if they, perhaps, fancied said butties  or drink. He would then take their order, scamper back up the bank, back to the flat, where Darrell would be waiting to slam on the frying pan and rustle up a teabag or two!  But before they did, they needed to ask if I had any spare bacon and sausage going, oh and some bread!

What are they like?  Fortuitously, as it happened we didn’t, and none was scheduled on our next Tesco order, but I fear that I cannot assuage this idea without a long and bitter fight!

A Fortuitous Find or Not Quite Sure?

There’s a charity shop up the road, which is a bit of a quandary to Darrell. When things haven’t sold after a week or two, or there is some damage …….

……. the shop puts it outside, to the side of the shop in open boxes.

Darrell can’t help having a look if he see them, but wonders if there is an “honesty box” element to it. Does the shop leave it there rather than just put it directly in the bin, for people to help themselves,  which Darrell has seen happen?

Should Darrell ever find something that takes his fancy he has decided that he should pop inside and make a donation, just walking off just doesn’t seems right.

We are not sure whether Nigel has noticed this phenomenon yet, but  Darrell is going mention it and advise Nigel that if he does mooch, he should certainly pay. Both Darrell and I, knowing Nigel as we do, have both thought that, with Christmas looming, Nigel might, if he hasn’t already, see these boxes as a useful source from which to get our Christmas presents!!!!!!

Santa Comes To Town!

As you know, it is usually de riguer to only don our gay apparel on 1st December and not a second before, however yesterday we decided that we would break this time honoured tradition, and throw caution to the wind in honour of Santa, who was coming to town to switch the Evesham Christmas lights on……..

….. and to celebrate our first official Christmas as citizens of the town, it look most rude if a couple of us didn’t attend,  so I sent Darrell and Nigel to see what was happening.

They got there early to get a good spot.

And before they knew it, there he was, and as soon Nigel saw him he dashed past Darrell and pressed an envelope in Santa’s hand.  It seems that ever since we have moved Nigel has been worrying that Santa might still go to The Castle with our presents and then not know where we had gone, so just in case, Nigel had written him a letter to explain all, what is he like?

He returned to Darrell, much relieved, and then confided that he had been a little surprised that Santa’s reindeer had been a bit whiffy  “I don’t know why,” he mused “but I thought they might smell more of cinnamon or gingerbread or even peppermint …….  but not poo!” and then pondered some more.

However, not being one to dwell for too long, Nigel then dragged Darrell to  see what else was going on, there was Morris Dancing, festive music and a small market in the town square ……..

…….. and in the shopping centre Home Bargains and strange creatures to have your picture taken with.

Nigel and Darrell stayed in town until the Great Christmas Light Switch On, and enjoyed the fireworks after. They returned home a little chilly but happy, agreeing that although Christmas may have started a little earlier than usual for us (but then again, we are now living on Evesham time), perhaps it all boded well for a very promising Advent and Christmas Season!

Adjusting To Bijoux Apartment Life.

There are a few things that we have had to get used to since downsizing from a castle in Wolverhampton to a bijoux riverside apartment in Evesham, which mainly concern the getting in and out of!The first “barrier” is the main communal portal ……… which leads, to the left to our flat …..

…… which is without a knocker, bell or a letter box!

If we have a visitor(s) they have to select the correct button from a choice of six at the side of the main door.  If they choose the correct one, it should then buzz the intercom in our hall. One of us then picks up the reciever to ask whether they are “friend or foe”, before pressing the open button allowing  them over the first threshold.

However, should we have any concerns that said visitor may be using a false name or disguised voice in order to gain entry, we also have a spy hole in our front door, so we can give them the once over or see who’s visting next door ……

When we are all perfectly happy the chain can be taken off …….…… and the door unlocked, simples!

Having a front door without a letter box we now have to collect our correspondence from a locker in the communal passage way, this too has taken a little to get used to, but we all agree its a very, very romantic to get our letters, even if they are bills.

We have a shared door into the communal gardens, though we think it’s only us and next door that actually use it.

And we also have a communal noticeboard! So far we haven’t put anything on it, but it can only be a matter of time before we notice a bulb has gone in the main hall or meter cupboard to bring to the caretakers attention.

There are two landings above us, but to be honest we don’t really need to go up there, unless, in due course, we find the urge to be neighbourly and pop up to borrow a cup of sugar or the odd drop of milk

The view is quite, quite lovely, you really can see when any of the fishermen catch anything, or, if you had any binoculars, what they have got  in their lunchbox.

And, as I discovered yesterday, if you go right to the very top you can be almost at one with the squirrels.  For the moment I am keeping this bit of information to myself, if Nigel catches wind of it, he’ll just keep making excuses to go upstairs. I also don’t think I had better let it be known that I already have some nuts put away ready for the fast approaching festive season!

A Film Suggestion For Lu Perhaps

It seems The Regal Cinema in Evesham is showing The Accountant in December ………

Darrell was wondering if it in any way mirrors the working life of our own beloved Lu.  When she comes down she often regales us of romantic accountant tales of what she has been counting in the week, but whether there are any pig or milk tanker counting scenes in the film I supposed we had better book to find out!

Calm Is Restored.

After the raging torrents of Monday, the river, though still a little murky, has returned to it’s normal ebb and flow and the riverside pathway into town is now passable, without the aid of wellies, so Darrell went for a little stroll to show you a little more of our immediate surroundings.

The fishing platform that we were all so fond of using in the summer (fishermen permitting) for romantic riverside picnics, and where Nigel likes to feed his beloved swans had just about reappeared, all be it a little soggy.

And, as if on cue, as soon as they saw him Nigel’s swans came charging over (if swans can charge) …….

……. bringing with them their baby, who we have seen grow so much over the past six months ……

….. to see if Darrell had got a little something for them, sadly on this occasion they were left disappointed.

It has to be said that Darrell is particularly fond of the signage to be found along the footpath.

Back at Castle Greysquirrel we had signs to the bank, school and the church etc. ……..

…… but nothing half as romantic as signs for a weir, moorings, a lock and most fascinating of all, canoe portage!  We are not really sure,  what canoe portage actually is, as it’s on the other side of the river,  but no doubt it’s mysteries will be revealed in the fullness of time.

Also across the river is Weir Meadow Park. In the summer it was always busy, especially at the weekend with caravaners and campers enjoying the rarefied air and beautiful views. It was tent pegs and barbeques akimbo, and in the evenings when we walked past, it twinkled magically by the light of myriad of television sets coming from said caravans and tents.As it was still a tad moist Darrell only went as far as the playground on his little saunter. The playground also became another favourite place for picnics and letting off some of Nigel’s natural steam …… There is still so much to show you, but to quote Louis Armstrong and one of the James Bond theme songs, “We have all the time in the world”

And What Of Our Rigorous and Robust 5 A Day Regime?

Well, it really was spookily meant to be, us moving slap bang in the middle of The Vale of Evesham, the famous fruit and vegetable basket of England, especially when you consider our rigorous and robust 5 a day regime of the past………… and moving, certainly hasn’t changed that.  At the moment satsumas and clementines, (we can’t tell the difference, but we are sure Mr D, who knows everything, will tell us) are in great abundance. These are sadly not grown locally, coming instead from romantic and torrid Spain, but it would look rude not to take advantage, wouldn’t it?

We have had to ration Nigel to three a day as he would eat the box in one go, but I think we need to keep a closer eye on him, as I found a pile of peel under his bed when I was cleaning the other day.

However, let it be said that we are no strangers to true local produce as the drawers in our new fridge freezer will testify, they are bulging with frozen blackberries and plums, all picked with our own fair hands. Darrell even tried his hand at making some individual mini crumbles with them, and very lovely they are too.

During the summer, the journey into town was a veritable smorgasbord of free seasonal fruit. We always took a couple of Tupperware boxes whenever we went for a walk and foraged greatly, which made us all feel very feral. This year, we were only at the start of our voyage discovery as far as foraging is concerned, but next year we plan to become the Evesham fruit versions of Bear Grylls.  Nom Nom Nom.