I felt like I had entered a secret Olympic Games Maker enclave when I arrived our Premier Inn in Paignton! If Vinnie The Volunteer had been with us he would have been extremely hard to spot, as his uniform would have afforded him an excellent camouflage against all the corporate Premier purple!
The first thing I looked for was my copy The Gideon's Bible …. 
And then I checked the complementary beverages …. I liked the fact that there were proper mugs to quaff from …. as I find that a cup is not a sufficient measure of tea or coffee for my needs. I also preferred the “proper” glass glasses …. because, although I am not overly endowed with manly strength, I have been known to crush the plastic glasses so often provided now in hotel rooms. I expect it is something to do health and safety, but they just aren't the same…..!!
Unfortunately, there were no complimentary individual packets of custard creams or bourbons supplied, so it was most fortuitous that I had the foresight to bring an ample supply of Hob Nobs and Wagon Wheels with me, just in case I had the midnight munchies.
The bathroom was also sparse, in fact bereft, of complimentary toiletery items ….. and I do so love the excitement of seeing who can bagzzz the bonnet de douche first! There were no mini bottles of shower gel or shampoo and no little tablets of soap which I like to take home and put in my sock drawer …. 
….. it may say “luxury” on the dispenser …. but it’s not half as romantic and glamorous as pouring (rather than pumping) foaming liquids from a proper bottle, even if the contents ponk! 
And finally the decor was interesting, two mahooooosive flowers spread over two canvases …. a little reminiscent of what Nigel has produced when he has been in his artistic “zone”!
Which got me thinking ….. somewhere there must be a huge hotel decor warehouse where they have 1,000’s and 1,000’s of the same picture, lamp, chair and kettle etc. all in purple, if you so desire….. how exciting would it be to go through there gliding along on your trolley, selecting corporate ware! 
5 comments:
Ponk? Is this a new word or a typo for plonk?
Coincidentally, yesterday I was teaching a Russian woman serving in a cafe how to make decent tea. I had a friend translating for me into Russian.
The previous day, the "chef" put hot water in the cup and added cold milk to it. She then put the teabag on the saucer for me to add it to the cup. the tea was terrible. As I don't speak Russian, I wasn't able to explain how wrong it all was.
Question - where am I?
ponk, gonk, tonk, donk the same in any language I would think Mr. D.......but then again in Russia I would be very careful.
JantheFan x
The Hob Nobs and Wagon Wheels were good thinking; always best to be prepared. Unusual there weren't any personal soap cakes or little bottles of complimentary toiletries, perhaps a word when you are asked for the feedback/review of your visit.....you are certainly becoming an expert on travel accommodations..... but what fun you could have shopping in a huge hotel warehouse letting your decorating imagination run free (or run amuck)..Dianne
JtF,
I thought maybe ponk was a new word used in England that I do not know.
Great review, if the teddy in the advert ever retires, you should step in :)
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