On Trend, De Rigueur London Snacking.

It seems that Darrell and Nigel,  under the very expert tutorage of Hugh,  have got London Lounging down to a fine art.

…. And on seeing their overwhelming desire to embrace everything of a London type nature Hugh decided that the next step was to introduce them to the London style of  snacking.  Normally when we are watching our programmes of choice in the evening we just tend to pass the Monster Munch,  Twiglets  or Snack A Jacks back and forth between ourselves …….. until the bag is empty and then Darrell blows it up and pops it!! He can be so common at times!This revelation clearly shocked poor Hugh …. “Oh non, non, non, non, non” he tutted “In London, darrrrlings, c’est tres au fait et absolute de rigueur to proffer evening nibblie-poos in illuminated and flashing snacklette bowls ….. darrrrling ….. no one is considered anyone in the circles of showbiz if they don’t have them!”

It was a moment of great awe and wonder …. Darrell’s eyes glazed over, his mind racing …. picturing us all watching our televisual highlight of the year - the Eurovision Song Contest,  snacks akimbo in the aforementioned illuminated and flashing snacklette bowls …..

And then ….  Nigel lowered the tone by having  both an Ulrika moment and an epiphany at the same time…..

A cuddly toy …… and an aforementioned, aforementioned upturned illuminated and flashing snacklette bowl and he had an impromptu  bucking bronco!!!!!!!  Poor, poor Hugh …. and as for Nigel, , you can try to put London into the boy,  but you just can’t take the Wolverhampton out of him!!

Lounging London Style …..

Now in order for this post to work …. we have to put a tune in you head ….. which once in there,  may be with you for the rest of the day, for which we apologise profusely ……. but now,  just think Gangnam Style ……

Eh eh eh eh eh eh

Eh~ Sexy lady

Op op op op Lounging London Style

Eh~ Sexy lady

Op op op op
Eh eh eh eh eh eh

Lounging London Style
What are we like?????

Following Yonder Star …….

Nigel got himself into an absolute state of flux when he spotted a Pret A Manger while he and Darrell were promenading Oxford/Bond Street in the London Style.

Darrell said Nigel just wouldn’t rest until they went into the aforementioned Pret A Manger and availed themselves of a corned beef bloomer and macchiato each,  with Nigel, eyes on stalks,  looking all around him,  as if desperately searching for something.

But, when they sat down to consume their Pret A Manger comestibles Darrell noted that Nigel’s mood had changed and he had become a little distant,  Darrell sensed that something was a definitely amiss with the little fella.

Darrell decided that he would have to give Nigel a little gentle probing in order to ascertain what was now troubling him.  After a long silence Nigel quietly confided in Darrell that he had thought he might see the Baby Jesus in Pret A Manger ….  a statement that now put Darrell in a complete state of flux ….. What?? How?? Why???

Sheepishly,  Nigel explained that though he didn’t have a clue what “Pret” meant, he had seen and “followed the (Pret A Manger) star”,  remembering the Christmas story of how the Baby Jesus had been born in a “manger” ………….  oh Nigel, Nigel, Nigel ….. there’s not a lot you can really say to all that is there?

Except …. what is he like?????

Darrell and Nigel Go Mad With An Oyster!!

Hugh,  ever the attentive and genial host had organised a fully charged Oyster Card to afford Darrell and Nigel safe passage through London and its transport system. He apologised profusely and said that though he would have “absolutely adored” going go out and about with them,  he had urgent fittings with Elt and Madge and Viv was pestering him “something rotten darlings” to collaborate on another new line to which he was about to say “Oui, oui, oui …. cherchez la femme, de la plume de mon tante!” or something like that!Nigel was naturally desperate to go on a real iconic London bus, which he said were so much more romantic than our little village Banga Bus.

….. And then proceeded to study a map of the London bus system for a couple of minutes before proceeding to recant to an amazed Hugh and Darrell the number of each and every London bus and it’s route, including every single stop on its aforementioned route!!

What is he like?

Darrell and Nigel decided that for their first London trip on their Oyster they would like to visit Portobello Road market …

…. where Nigel said he hoped to increase and improve his fluency and bilingualism of the native Cockney language by putting everything what he had learned from watching Eastenders into practice.

However, when he eventually found a stall on which he hoped to try out his cockney,  he saw that though they had asparagus, avocados, bananas and peppers, amongst many other exotic fruit and vegetable comestibles, he couldn’t see any apples or pears …..

…… and lost his nerve ….. what is he like????

Here’s To Another London Lounging Adventure …

Yesterday Darrell and Nigel finally set off on their much anticipated London Lounging Adventure …..

…. and, to be honest,  if they had to have waited another day before affording safe passage to stay with Hugh, our best friend, who lives La Vida Showbiz in Notting Hill I think Nigel would have burst a mahooosive blood vessel and if Darrell had checked that he had got their Virgin £7.50 tickets in a safe place again I think I would have burst one too!!!

Hugh was equally, if not more excited to have Darrell and Nigel back on his manor, and had spent most of the week preening, priming, plumping and positioning his pillows to ensure that he was able to give them an exquisite London Lounging experience ….. bless him.

The first thing Darrell wanted to do,  once they had had their tea and settled in, was to see what Hugh was wearing, because what the “on trend” London people (namely Hugh)  are wearing  in London now, is what the “on trend” people (namely Darrell) will be wearing in Wolverhampton in six months time ….. and Darrell wanted to get well ahead of the game …….

… he duly took note of Hugh’s heavy embellished holey stone necklet ...

….. his de rigueur puppy t-shirt ……

….. his glitter flecked hand knit beanie and his very dazzling bejewelled skull pin (of which the picture does not do justice) ……

….. which Hugh explained was the “real deal”,  given to him by one of his famous showbiz friends, but added,  that if Darrell wanted something similar he would probably be able to find a very convincing faux designer piece in a darling little Notting Hill shop that he could thoroughly recommend.

Darrell’s head was buzzing ….. he had plans of a magical shopping trip during their visit and returning to Wolverhampton so on trend he would stop traffic!!!  What is he like???

It’s The Half Term Holidays ….. And… Can It Really Be Two Years ……

…… since I traversed the ski slopes of the Czech Republic with the young ladies, as the one "what stays behind" at the hotel in case of emergencies?  I can’t believe it …… it only seems like yesterday.

This year, the aforementioned young ladies are off to the pistes of Italy to ski, and it’s the turn of the PE Department Monkeys Rooney (who asked to borrow my warm fleecy jacket) and Harvey to accompany them as “the ones what stay behind at the hotel.” this time ……..

I was a little jealous of their adventure as their excitement was of an extremely infectious type nature.

Harvey told me that while they have been going about their daily duties in the PE Department,  such as laundering the PE bibs, pumping up their extensive collection of balls and oiling the rowing and cross training machines, they had made a point of only speaking to each other in Italian in preparation for their trip, as they didn’t want to be found wanting in the language department, if sent to the local chemist in search for gel blister plasters,  as happened to me on my trip! I have to admit that Harvey’s rendition of  “Avete cerotti per un blister grande pulsante per favore?” (do you have any plasters for a large pulsating blister please?) sounded very romantic and almost poetical in its construction.  As was Rooney’s faultless and almost bilingual. “Non è forse il giorno più bello per la presa alla pista oggi?” - (isn’t it the most wonderful day for taking to the piste today?” I wished them a mahoooosive safe passage and bon voyage, and told them to embrace the whole experience.

I, in turn, will be enjoying a very peaceful half term holiday …. Darrell is off on another one of his jaunts to London to see Hugh, our friend who lives La Vida Showbiz in Notting Hill and this time he is taking Nigel with him, so that Nigel too can learn how to “London Lounge” at first hand, amongst real Londoners ……….. heaven help them … the Londoners, ……………… not Darrell and Nigel!!

Is Nigel Some Kind Of Prodigy? …..

There is always some kind of robust charitable activity going on at work ….. and yesterday was no exception ….. everyone had to dress in an outfit that reflected their chosen country of the world …. however some peoples interpretation of a country's native costume seemed to employ some very dubious, and baffling links …….

I chose simply to wear a fez and Nigel his new All American Boy outfit, because we had been assigned a job of very great import, namely the counting and balancing of all donations received and thus did not wish to be encumbered by extravagant sleeves or humongous hats that might have impeded our dexterity and vision.

It wasn’t an easy task …..

….. but, once again Nigel’s willingness to embrace work and learn held no bounds …………………  and it appears that he may be some sort of Professor Brian Cox type genius…. as he, much to my amazement,  added up every single classes money in his head …. and believe me,  there are a lot of classes and then he jotted down his answer …..

….. and then went on to double check it, purely as a precautionary measure on his Smartie calculator ….

…. but on every single occasion he wasn’t one penny out!  I think we have a prodigy on our hands!

The Joys Of Professional Bakeware.

Isn’t it funny how over the years,  as our interests change and mature, the things that make us go all tingly with excitement, make our hearts skip a beat and make our tummy's flip over change too.  

If you had said this time last year that I would go all gooey over professional bakeware I would have said that you were totally off your trolley…..

….. however, what a difference a year does makes …. as I found myself getting very emotional over a mahooooosive delivery of the aforementioned professional bakeware which arrived for the Food Department last week.  It was my job to tick each item off on the order sheet,  remove all the protective plastic bags and stickers and then afford them all safe passage to the appropriate cupboards.

Who would have thought that professional deep flan case with removable bases would fill me with such rapture?

…… And then,  when I came to these beauties……. my mind immediately went into a whirling frenzy of wedding cake scenarios for the impending and much anticipated nuptials of Tom The Scientist  and the Lovely Laura …… with notions of a traditional rich fruit cake, (but without the lemon peel, as it makes Darrell, Nigel and me all heave if we find any) for the bottom tier,   followed by a chocolate sponge with a marmite ganache for the centre tier, and a top tier of vanilla sponge, with an inspired Dairy Lea triangle buttercream, thus catering for all tastes.  I shall proffer my culinary matrimonial ideas to the blushing bride and her groom whence we next meet, I am sure they will bite my hand off at the offer!

It’s A Hard Job, But Someone Has To Do It!

As Technician to the Food Department I have to work quite hard, however, there is the occasional “perk” that makes up for the mahoooosive pile of tea towels and dish clothes that the young ladies get through each day, that are part of my derestriction…..

…… namely, a fact finding mission to the local Pan Asian restaurant, of a buffet type nature, to look at different foods from around the world, trying dishes that perhaps we may never have tried before. I was put in charge of the transport arrangements, so it was a no brainer that I called up Mr Collis to afford us safe passage to our destination ….

….. and it was also a perfect excuse to catch up on the adventures of our very old friend, Mr Collis’s monkey ….

…… who travels everywhere with Mr. C,  leading a very romantic life, not too dissimilar from Brendan on Coach Trip (our very favourite travelogue programme of choice).

Mr Collis afforded us such aforementioned safe passage that we arrived at Cosmo five minutes before it opened …. it was if we were transported by the wind.

The food was all very nomtastic, however, on this occasion I chose mainly from the Chinese menu,  firstly in homage to the Chinese New Year,  and secondly, because, to be honest, I prefer not to mix my continents in a comestible type way ….. for me, personally, a slice of pizza, a serving of sweet and sour chicken and rogan josh do not sit comfortably on my plate (on the other hand …. Darrell and Nigel would embrace such a combination)

However I did try an array of new dishes and sought out a few green beans so that my rigorous five a day regime would not be compromised.For pudding, I could not resist an ample sufficiency of apple fritters and a custard filled profiterole, but held back from smothering them with cream, thinking about my waistline.

The visit was a great success but over to soon and unfortunately there was work to go back to.  It was so lovely to catch up with Mr Collis’s monkey and I thanked him for our much mentioned safe passage, we both hoped it wouldn’t be too long before we would be able to meet up again and traverse the winding roads of Wolverhampton together once more.

As for the rest of my afternoon? ….. Lets just say I moved a little heavier and slower than is my norm!!!!!!