Nigel’s Poo Progress

Nigel’s Poo is becoming positively hirsute …..….. and I think we have to put his rather sluggish sprouting down to his being a very slow but measured burner in the growth department!

But,  Nigel’s due diligence, robust faith and continued care have been an example to us all! And indeed,  there still appears to be more ensuing growth to come,  as there are tiny shoots still erupting,  some in regions of quite a delicate type nature!!

Nigel is now contemplating the possibility of having to give Poo a snip or two, but after waiting soooooooo long for this moment he has decided to delay it a little longer, perhaps to a time where Poo’s eyes and nose are no longer visible!  He has also been wondering if some of Poo’s foliage could possibly be incorporated and entwined  in his bouquet and headdress when he performs his “bridesmaid” duties at Tom and Laura’s impending nuptials ……. oh my life ….I can just imagine the Lovely Laura’s face when he fields this one at her!!!!!

Big Changes Are Afoot

There is much new building a foot at work which heralds a year or so of mahooosive change …. and Darrell has been keeping a keen and diligent eye on of what looks like “city” of demountables being erected on the tennis courts and field …..

….. because he will be one of the first to be relocated to a new,  temporary office over there,  thus ensuring that his work as “Confidential Shredding Operative” can continue unabated and unhindered …..

“It’s going to be sooooooo romantic” he says “ ….. our new office will be like a £9.50 Sun Holiday chalet but with desks and telephones  and surrounded by protective barriers!”

When the time to finally move arrives Darrell has been told that he will be furnished with a large plastic purple crate which will afford safe passage for all his worldly office equipment from one building to the other …..

However,  despite his robust excitement and bravado I fear there will also be a few heavy and most probably moist blowing of noses as the packing begins to gather apace ……. This will indeed be the end of an era and the beginning of an new epoch for all of us ….. an epoch which will see our once thronging and industrious office turned into a corridor, linking the Music Department to The Food Technology one,  in the first instance ……  and all our adventures, trials and tribulations, echoing laughter and many happy nomming experiences will become hazy memories ............ lost spirits  ….. floating in the ether of progress ……..

Darrell Doing His Bit For The Best Kept Village Competition ……

Darrell has been taking a keen interest in our village’s  preparations for Staffordshire’s Best Kept Village Competition ……

…… and has noted that as well as the robust planting of six tulips where the village Christmas Tree was sited this year ….. a sturdy post/stand has been erected for the suspending of hanging baskets ….. how very, very  romantic ….

This got Darrell thinking about our own contribution towards the competition as our gargoyle needed a little tidying up ….

…… to off set our flower box of pansies, now in full bloom,  sited on the wall to the side of Castle Greysquirrel ……..

…….. strategically placed for maximum impact and as a distraction from our growing collection of  bins (rubbish, garden waste and something else, but we don’t know what, we did fill it,  however they refused to empty it,  so we are none the wiser !!!!))……

Darrell wondered if he ought to contact our village councillor to find out when the judges will be out and about with their judgemental clipboards so that he could be around to answer any questions of a pertinent type nature …. and also to see if he could glean any information as to the possibly of our being in the running to win the prize for “Outstanding Individual Display!!!  What is he like?

Word Association!

I saw this sign and knew instantly that when Darrell sees it he will immediately burst into mirth filled song  ………. and sing ……“Islands in the Stream!” ….. 

......... so I have bet myself a Twix and a Spiral that when we walk past together, that is definatley what he'll do or I'll eat my hat!!!  

I, myself,  think “New Mini Islands” would make a great name for a new sponge, marshmallow and jam combo, chocolate coated Cadbury type cake ! Nom, Nom, Nom!

Not Really Our Cake Of Choice

With so many nuptials in the air at the moment chez Castle Greysquirrel it’s hard to avoid anything that does not have a theme of a wedding type nature at the moment ….

However, as we have heard very little about the cake that the newly wedded couple will be cutting into with their ceremonial sword, to wit Tom’s He Man sword from when he was a little boy ….. could we just point out to the Lovely Laura that we are not overly enamoured by one of the cakes at present on display in our local cake shop ….. the flowers may be exquisite but the dark grey icing ……………. no!!  In our very humble opinion a cake such as this could be an horrendous marital faux pas …. as no one would want to find a piece from the  grey layer, wrapped in a serviette at the bottom of their party bag amongst the toffees, balloon, mini clackers, stretchy frogs and other such wedding paraphernalia ….. seriously no nom nom, I am afraid ….. !!!

Slurp …………

There was much robust excitement amidst the kitchen yesterday with the installation and introduction of two new slush machines …….. hopefully,  a fortuitous move …. what with the summer term and accompanying warm weather beckoning!

Fortuitous too, that Nigel was readily on hand, suitably empty and most eager,  to give the Cook Lady his considered opinion on both the Cosmic Cola and Strawberry Delight ……………

….. of which he insisted on sampling copiously so as not to miss any subtle nuances of flavour, consistency of slush and ambiance of temperature ……..

However,  Nigel’s rather abundant and over diligent evaluation had an unfortunate consequence, namely that he sampled to such an extent that he in fact managed to deplete the contents of both machines to such a degree that half way through service the machines ran dry leaving an awful lot of girls unable to make a 90p considered slush purchase of their own.  The Cook Lady has now had to tell Nigel that though she greatly values and appreciates his opinion,  he would nevertheless have to learn to appraise and evaluate with rather less consumption and gusto!

And his verdict on the slush….. nom, nom, chilly nom nom!!

Catching Up On Matters Of Import

Darrell and Nigel like to take advantage of the free copy of the Metro newspaper on their early morning bus ride to work, to peruse and familiarise themselves with world events and articles of great import for further debate should a pertinent a subject arise  ……

….. while Nigel is going about his sauce rotation and ice cream spatula  distribution duties in his beloved kitchen and Darrell is  busy shredding documents of a confidential nature ….. However,  where Darrell’s favourite regular feature “Rush Hour Crush” quite fits in I don’t know ……….

Boys Will Be Boys, As Far As Water Is Concerned!

Wolverhampton has a much overlooked tourist attraction in it’s wondrous illuminated dancing fountains in the town centre,  of which even we have been a little remiss in enjoying their watery splendours …

However, Darrell decided to redress the situation by taking Nigel to bask in their awe and wonder. At first all went well, and there were several robust ooohhhhs and ahhhhhhhs …….. and then things got silly …..

…… as Darrell persuaded Nigel to pose for a couple of “hilarious” spuming shots ……..

Sometimes I absolutely despair at their antics, but then again I suppose I should at least be thankful that Nigel did return home dry!

What Are They Like????

Darrell and Nigel nipped over to Wombourne yesterday afternoon to suss out our competition for this years Staffordshire’s  Best Kept Village Competition ……

We are loathe to admit it, but their village is considerably more pretty than ours ….. they have a proper village green …. and romantic street lights …..

However,  in an effort to console themselves  ….. it was the name of the village that caused Darrell and Nigel much mirth of a very boyish and infantile type nature when Darrell pointed out that Wombourne sounded very much like “One Born” as in “One Born Every Minute”  a TV programme, I hasten to add,  that they are both too squeamish to watch!!!

I am afraid I found the joke rather lame ….. and not half as funny as they found it ….!!!

A Possible Addition To Tom And The Lovely Laura’s Wedding Present List?

Since Darrell has been immersed in everything “London Style” under the expert tutorage of our friend and fashioista Hugh, who lives La Vida Showbiz in Notting Hill, he has developed a very keen sense of decor both  dans la maison and dans le jardin …..

….. which is most fortuitous just now as finding an elegant and sophisticated wedding present for Tom and the Lovely Laura has been been very much at the forefront of our minds recently ….. August may seem like a long way away, but we like to plan well ahead and DON’T want to let our side of the family down by presenting the bethrothed couple with a gift of questionable and unpardonable taste ………

So,  when Darrell spotted these giant 3-4ft garden gnomes in Asda (£25), it gave us all much to ponder upon ….. they certainly ticked a lot of boxes for what a young and modern affianced couple might be looking for,  when wanting to feather  their “nest” with beautiful things …….We can imagine the  apres wedding scene now as The Lovely Laura’s face lights up with a robust delight as she and Tom unwrap our rather impressive,  mahooosive  and much considered gift …….!!!

However, enamoured as he was …. Darrell said that perhaps we should put a small smorgasbord of a list together,  noting all possible suggestions before making our final decision ….. as we really would hate to make an awful faux pas of a matrimonial harmony type nature!

Darrell, Always Thinking Of Nigel

Lucy asked Darrell if he would like to go with her to Home Bargains … as she desperately needed to get some lens wipes for her glasses and to stock up on of her favourite Miss Piggy foam bath,  which is always so hard to find,  adding that Darrell was always excellent company on trips of a retail type nature, not only as a  bon viveur and raconteur but also because of his uncanny ability to spot things that she often missed, didn’t know she wanted, but all of a sudden did …….

….. like this excellent wall hanging,  which would no doubt go down a storm as a conversation piece for when we eventually get round to sending our CV and menu proposals to Come Dine With Me!

However,  one piece of home furnishing that categorically will not be crossing the threshold of Castle Greysquirrel is this set of One Direction scatter cushions ….. “Soooooo not even kitsch!” announced Darrell with a dismissive flounce ….!!

But,  these Big Bear In the Blue House bacon flavour corn snacks (99p for 6 packs)  definitely did have the seal of Darrell’s approval ……

….. as he persuaded Lucy to make a considered pur’chase on his behalf ……

…… as he knew someone who would just love them  …….. even if it is just for the packaging ….. what is he like?

Darrell Gets The Hebbie Jebbies

If there is anything that is guaranteed to make Darrell jump out of his skin when he goes  shopping  …. ………… it’s those life size cardboard cut outs of fearsome, no nonsense, lets be ‘aving you policemen …… “They just make me feel as if I should be emptying out my pockets and opening up my shopping bag to display my considered purchases and their accompanying receipts ……  and then say it’s a fair cop gov’, you’ve banged me to rights ….. even when I have done nothing of a nefarious nature ! ….”

What is he like?

Many A True Word …..

Hmmmmm, and the problem when Darrell and Nigel appear to be doing nothing is knowing that they really are up to something that isn’t nothing!!!!!!!!!

Insey Winsey ………

There has been a mahoooosive spider in the upstairs bathroom which precipitated Darrell’s insisting that all his ablutions would have to be done in the downstairs shower room until it had been removed ….. as, he is a martyr to his phobia of creatures of an eight legged type nature.

But,  for Nigel  the spider was a source of much awe and wonder …… ….. he spent hours just following it round the bathroom,  and even christened it Charlie ….. what is he like?

However, knowing how Darrell’s nerves were in tatters at Charlie’s very presence ….. Nigel used the situation to his advantage, agreeing to put Darrell out of his misery by removing Charlie from the bathroom … and into the safety of the garage …….

…… in exchange for a a Twix and the sample of Wilderness aftershave the Avon Lady had left Darrell last time she dropped off her catalogue!

Poo Watch ….

More uplifting and unbridled jubilation for Nigel …..

….. because after indefatigable due diligence of care and continual waterings …..

….. Nigel’s Poo Bear has sprouted another three “hairs” …. one to his ample shoulder area ……
….. and another two to his right ear ….. another proud moment, with many more to come, all be it very, very slowly!

Darrell Gets “His Back To Work” Haircut!

Darrell likes to get his hair cut before he goes back to work after a holiday and so took himself off to Zak’s in Wolverhampton, his hairdresser of choice,  where the lovely Casey always looks after him.

Above - Darrell as he went in to Zaks…..

While waiting for the aforementioned Lovely Casey to finish her last client, Darrell availed himself of the latest style magazine and perused its contents, but decided that in the end he would be advised by Casey, as she knew his forelocks and fetlocks, and which way his hair fell almost as well as he did.

For someone who spends an awful long time in front of the mirror, Darrell says that he doesn’t actually like being sat in front of a mirror looking at himself in a public place …. so it was a relief when he was asked if he would like a coffee to distract him from studying his imperfections.  Darrell says that the cappuccino at Zak’s is to die for as it’s always very frothy with sprinkles, and they give you one of those posh biscuits in a cellophane wrapper …..

Above Darrell with his new haircut

Darrell and Casey nattered away ten to the dozen about what they had been up to and when she asked him if he had any holiday plans …… well,  he never shut up, telling her about our Holiday of a Lifetime Holiday to Last Vegas (as he and Nigel like to call it)  …… and how he’d been watching a programme on tele called Las Vegas Police to help him get a flavour of the place …….. what is he like?

Anyway, Darrell left Zaks feeling like a new man ….. his hair neat and coiffed, a far cry from the birds nest that he went in with …… Casey really is a miracle worker!

And …….  you too could have hair like Darrell’s and a posh coffee and biscuit at the same time ………………

http://www.zakshairdressing.com/