Nigel Comes Up Trumps?!!!

Nigel said that he was just mooching down 5th Avenue (sadly, not a thrift or Dollar Store to be found),  when he noticed a building that looked a bit familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it ……

……. then noting that it was very gold, the penny (or cent) dropped and he realised it was Trump Tower from Celebrity Apprentice USA, which we used to enjoy ages ago when it was on very late on BBC 1,  despite us not knowing who any of the US celebrities were!

There was a very heavy security presence on the front door, but seeing that people were going in and out, Nigel thought that although it wasn’t really part of his Big Apple itinerary, it would be remiss not to take a little peek.

Once through the portals Nigel found that he had to surrender his backpack and its contents to be rigorously scrutinised by the sort of armed guards that you wouldn’t want to argue with, and Nigel was just grateful that the spare vest, pants and handkerchief  I told him to always carry did not cause any untoward concern!

And then Nigel saw that Trump Tower was even more gold on the inside than on the outside, not unlike, he thought Hugh, Darrell’s best friend and mentors bathroom!

He really wasn’t sure what he would find inside, but there were a couple of shops and places to eat and drink ……..  who would have thought there would be a Trump Ice Cream Parlour with 24 flavours of ice cream and sorbet, complete with a gentlemen busy buffing up it’s already shiny copper panels!

But Nigel, a little overwhelmed by his opulent surroundings, decided that he needed to keep things simple and just  partook in a small latte (which was giant by our standards), as he was worried that it was probably all he he could afford anyway.

However, it’s arrival in a ordinary, plain cardboard cup was the cause of some disappointment to Nigel as he had really expected it to have been served, at least, in a gold cardboard cup!

As he sipped, encompassed by so much gold, Nigel couldn’t help musing as to what the “restrooms” might be like ……… well, it would be rude not to have a look he thought ……..

The humungous and very shiny corridor that led to said restrooms promised much, Nigel imagining himself resting his erm …….. posterior, on at least a gold seat ………and then undoubtedly pulling a gold chain ………

……… let’s just say, Nigel was greatly disappointed (again) and questions may be asked in the White House!  It’s all in the detail as Darrell is oft heard to say, and sadly, behind the glitz and glamour of its gold façade, for Nigel, Trump Tower was found to be sadly wanting …………