Beam Me Up Scotty!

There is hardly as day that goes by without me putting my head in my hands in some sort of disbelief type situation ….. and yesterday was just another one of them ……

Nigel had decided to nip to the shops up the road for a change to squander spend some of his pocket money …. …..

….. and I knew by the look on his face and his rush to find Darrell,  his cohort on such occasions,  that his considered purchase hadn’t been a Milky Bar or Twix!

Oh no, it was, to wit, a lollipop, masquerading as a dummy of a most grotesque and nasty type nature …….

It goes without saying that Darrell was highly amused, enraptured and encouraging,  however I am afraid I tutted rather loudly, several times, in despair,  because I knew that there would be no doing with the pair of them for the rest of the afternoon,  at the very least!

Boys will be boys I know …….

…… but I wish that within the portals of Castle Greysquirrel it wasn’t quite so often!!!  WHAT ARE THEY LIKE?

Nigel Graduation Dreams

Nigel has been very much taken with the range of Graduation paraphernalia in the village gift shop ….. which in turn has further encouraged his interest in “big sums” and growing ambition to go in the “big hall” next summer, with a transparent pencil case to sit a GCSE ….

Darrell has been assisting him with his tutorage …. and this week they have mainly been doing expansion ……..

Oh dear …… I don’t think either of them has quite got the hang of it!

What are they like?

One Of Those Days …

I don’t know why ….. and it doesn’t happen very often ….

…. but I am not feeling my usual buoyant and robust Hello Magazine type self today …. 

Last Vegas Countdown …

When I announced,  at Christmas,  the wondrous news of our holiday of a lifetime holiday to Last Vegas,  Auntie Jan immediately went out and bought us a 2013 Last Vegas calendar…….

….. so that Nigel and Darrell would have the palpable and tangible daily excitement of crossing off the days, with dramatic and flamboyant gusto …..

…… and seeing our aforementioned holiday of a lifetime holiday draw ever nearer …. The days have certainly flown, going from numbers in their hundreds to days in their tens. When the days are finally in single numbers I just don’t know where any of us will be able to put ourselves, I fear that Darrell will be be permanently in the loo!

For reasons of a tight and stringent security type nature, we are not at liberty to reveal when we will actually be flying out  ….. indeed,  it would be a most foolhardy revelation

However … we can divulge that in our absence,  Castle Greysquirrel will indeed be fully occupied, due to our having the kitchen refurbished in our absence …. which is also very exciting ….. and probably worthy of a Hello Magazine photo shoot upon our return!

But in the meantime the crossing off,  not a little unlike Lord Sir Alan Sugar’ s search for a business partner continues ……

Too Much Information ….

Reading the Metro together every morning has become quite de rigueur for Darrell and Nigel …..

However, the other day, the leading headline and following article were just TMI (Too Much Information) ….. as far as Darrell and Nigel were concerned!

Two or three minutes of constant guffawing I can cope with …. five minutes tends to become a little tedious …… fifteen minutes plus of piddle talk and tittering  ….give me strength!! ……

NO NIGEL  …………………. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Flipping scientists ….. I wish they would just keep some of their research to themselves!!!!

Our Very Considered Gifts Of A Wedding Type Nature …….

Who would have thought that selecting our wedding gifts of choice  to celebrate the much anticipated and impending nuptials of Tom to The Lovely Laura could be so fraught ….. even after the aforementioned Tom and The Lovely Laura had gone to all the trouble of posting a matrimonial list of a present type nature on Amazon!

We did have a few idea’s of our own as to suitable gifts for the betrothed couple …… Nigel had set his heart on getting one of those crocheted crinoline lady toilet roll holders as he felt it would be something The Lovely Laura (Bride to Be) would adore and treasure forever and feel proud when visitors to her new home admired “her” exquisite taste….

Darrell wanted to buy a 3ft Asda garden gnome and I thought a door bell that chimed “Bless This House” would be rather nice ….. but as none of these were on the list when we looked, …. we decided that for safety’s sake we ought not veer from it’s path. Of course, Tom and Laura  may have already put such gifts on, but other guests have beaten us to it !In the end,  after much robust debate, at times heated,  we all finally agreed on purchasing a mezzanine melodious melamine bowl each.

Darrell choosing the olive one, Nigel the strawberry and I opted for the tomato one …. A most excellent choice we all decided, because they will help serve as a constant reminder to the newlyweds of the importance of adhering to a rigorous 5 a day routine (like ours),  even during the first heady days of their honeymoon period …. when such regimes can be sadly forgotten!! 

Roses Are Red …..

Hmmmmmmmm, this looks very much like ………….. two mahooooooosive great thorns …….
….. amongst ….
….. a robust and fragrant display of  beautiful red roses ….
…… posed in a very Hello magazine type way ….. well,  it would have been rude not to!

Quiet …. Genius At Work!

Nigel has been told that if he wants to progress up the career ladder he will need to get a bit of basic Maths and English under his belt …..
I think we have a huge mountain to climb!

Nigel Has A Derek Acorah Type Question ……

Dear Derek ……
If ghosts and ghoulies can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

Sunday Morning Snuggles

There’s nothing quite so WONDERFUL …….
…….. as a Sunday morning snuggle!
….. even if it looks Nigel’s trying to escape in the second picture!!!!

A No Nom Nom Situation!

When Darrell arrived home in an absolute state of flux, clutching a plain brown paper bag …..

….. swiftly followed by an equally fluxed Nigel I had an uncanny and spooky feeling of a Derek Acorah type nature that I would immediately regret enquiring what they had been/were up to ….

….. and I was right …. do not be fooled by their faux innocent faces!

They had been out squandering their pocket money on “things of a boy type humour” ….. to wit three pieces of extra sour camel balls chewing gum that they had found in their sweet shop of choice in town ….. costing 10p each! I just despair! It’s just too, too unsavoury for me, and I certainly wasn’t  going to encourage them!

Naturally Nigel, who I don’t actually believe has taste buds, volunteered to try them out first …

…. biting into it first to check out it’s contents ….. which I always regard a very common thing to do!

Let’s just say that his resulting expression said it all ……. and served him right …. they were extra sour!

Those two are just soooooooo bad for one another …. and for once I absolutely forbade them to score their “considered” purchase  on our Richter scale of noms …… as it would only besmirch it’s hallowed reputation for nomming items of discernable taste and not common frippery!

Darrell’s Quest ….. For Beauty & Lurve!

Now Darrell is “active on the dating scene”, as he calls it, I really shouldn’t have been surprised when he decided to pump up the volume on his stringent and robust beauty routine …..

….. and couldn’t believe his luck when the Lovely Sarah,  the new Textiles Lady at work,  gave him a small parcel crammed with samples left over from a Pamper Evening she’d had ……

…… amongst which were some “Wild Rose Smoothing Capsules”  …. “an intensive treatment”  he read aloud,  “that soften fine lines …..hmmmm sounds very promising and luxurious!”  However their aforementioned capsule form was the subject of much debate, some heated, as to whether he should swallow them whole or snip the top off and apply the contents within onto his skin! 

In the end he settled for the applying to his skin option …. reasoning that no one would see that he had a fine line free, intensely revitalized oesophagus if he swallowed them, though he would have exceedingly pleasant breath, which would certainly be a plus mark for most young ladies,  should he ever have the opportunity to breathe on one!

There was also a tube of “Wild Rose Soothing Day Care Cream” …. which Darrell was quite keen to try, if only he could find away of getting into it! 

….. as it appeared to be sealed for the purposes of a Health and Safety and possibly hygiene type nature.

Who would have thought the quest for love AND beauty could be quite so fraught with conundrums…… but knowing Darrell, he will come up smelling of roses … in the end!

Here Come The Groomsmen!!!!!

At last,  Darrell and my wedding tackle apparel of choice for fast approaching, impending and much anticipated nuptials of Tom and The Lovely Laura have finally arrived …. I bowed to Darrell’s superior en trend and de rigeuer fashion knowledge, when he said that we should go for “a smart yet cazzzh matrimonial look” as it was “tres en vogue this season!”

I have to admit that I could have been very easily swayed towards wearing our kilts …. but Darrell confided in me that he didn’t think he could be trusted NOT to fling his aforementioned kilt in wondrous gay abandon and then robustly swinging his sporran willy nilly on the dance floor after all the emotion of the day and supping an abundant ample sufficiency of champagne! The thought of disgracing himself and then having to face the wrath of The Lovely Laura would be too much to bear,  ….. and so, he felt that he could be trusted and would be far safer in a suitably poignant t-shirt!

He did however suggest, that we could zhuzzzz them up a little with a faux and over the top button hole and some bejewelled blingy buttons ….. “etcetera, etcetera”! I have to admit that I do not have a natural propensity towards great flamboyance …..

….. however, who am I to argue when Darrell comes over all Gok Wan after such a revelatory confessional!