School Run Treats

Uncle Nigel, bless him, is trying his best to make the slow walk home from school as festive as possible for his beloved niece and nephew.

Every time they spot any mistletoe growing in a tree along the route, they have to stop, have a kiss under it and wish each other a very Happy Christmas. What is he like?

He has also found them an old tree stump at around the half way mark to sit for hot chocolate with marshmallows and a dippy biscuit.

But, these are no ordinary biscuits, these are Darrell and Nigel individually painted Christmas biscuits. They found some Jane Asher edible ink marker pens in Home Bargains and it was a festive treat no brainer.

Every morning Darrell and Nigel get together to decide on their designs for the day …… 

Let’s just say they go down very well with those important childhood memories being made ……..

…….. especially by the little multicoloured mouths that need to be wiped before they set off again! 

Happy Days.

Nigel In Festive Raptures

The festive season has just got almost too wonderful for Nigel, if that’s possible. After four long years of pining for his beloved Motor World Nativity, he has finally, finally found it’s spellbinding equivalent in Evesham ……..

….. and would you believe, it’s in a garden opposite Bertie’s school,  which means Nigel can gaze over, drinking in all its Christmasy glory while waiting in a masked, self distanced type nature for the school gates to open.

I don’t think the school run could be any more magical for the little fella.

Let’s just say it’s been emotional at The Towers, very emotional ……..

…… with Darrell and I now all but struck off the school run rota until at least the New Year……

……. not that we are grumbling, we’re more than happy step back just to see the little fella so filled with joy, without his Motorworld Nativity we’ve always known that there has been a tiny ache in his heart at this time of year …….

……. and now it’s gone …….. by the sled load!  Happy Days!

Goodwill Toward Men …….?????

Much as Nigel loves the school run, there is just one tiny little fly in his ointment of joy, that being the self distanced queue outside the gates of Bertie’s school before the bell goes.

Now, the little fella leaves The Towers a good forty five minutes ahead of time and when he joins the line he is generally in about fifth/sixth  position ……

…… but as time goes by finds himself moving further and further away from the front ……. the reason?

…….. podgers or queue jumpers …… in fact, the lady in front of Nigel was joined by “two friends” as our illustrative photos were being taken ……. and that’s not to mention the others who snook in nearer the front. 

It has to be said that it’s starting to niggle the little fella just a tad, being on a very tight schedule to then pick up Iris another ten minutes away. Nigel’s usually sooooooo easy going, so such feelings don’t sit well with him, especially in the season of goodwill to all men.

Darrell says that he should simply re-podge the podgers when the queue begins to move …… Nigel’s not so sure, questions, he thinks, should be asked in Parliament on his behalf …… re: guidance for Covid queuing ……. poor Nigel, what is he like?

A Festive Tradition To Perform

Excuse me if this post seems a little hazy and not very well put together because last night Darrell had scheduled us in on his “to the second” festive preparation spreadsheet to write our traditional Mums Monkey Christmas cards ……….

…… an evening we all love, with it’s light hearted banter, ribaldry and laughter ……….

……. and this year we have to admit to being particularly pleased with the Hello Magazine inspired shoot Darrell again arranged, it says it all really!

However …….. I think Darrell carried the theme a little too far …….

…… when he said he had an idea for a cocktail that he was desperate to try out on Nigel and I, made up of 1 part Cherry Sourz, 2 parts Tequila and a generous glug of some 80º rum from Antigua that he had forgotten about, but found at the back of the cupboard …… it would, he added, be an apt way to end our evening bearing in mind the subject of our said card,

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, my poor head …… it turned out to be very potent concoction not for the faint hearted  …….. Nigel was supposed to post our cards on the school run later on today … we just have to remember where we put them!

Festive School Runs Finds ……..

Yesterday there was much excitement when Uncle Nigel, Iris and Bertie found a very large picture frame on the school run ………

……. with not much aid and abetment needed  from Nigel, it was the perfect opportunity for an impromptu photoshoot betwixt an awful lot of gurning and uncontrollable giggling ………

What are they like?  No one can say that the school run is ever boring when Nigel’s is in charge!

A Sad Dearth Of Festive Tut

To put or not to put a sack of festive tut ready for our traditional Boxing Day family get together back in the Homeland of Wolverhampton has been the subject of much debate, none heated at The Towers ever since the first lockdown in March.

Very sadly with Boris's new tiers and all their restrictions we won't be able to travel back "home" for the celebrations, because it would result in an indefeasibly big and totally illegal bubble. 

But what of our tut for those who will be there? Well, to be honest, with a very limited window of opportunity in the summer and early autumn to avail ourselves of the choicest c**p on offer in Evesham’s charity shops, the reduced sections of various emporiums or even offered free outside some people's houses, let’s just say, pickings have never been so slim, but despite this I don't think we will be found too wanting in our absence.

However, instead of the bulging sack of yore, we’ve decided to simply put two pieces of pure tat per person in among their “normal” presents, but with a “Heritage Note” on each, explaining how we came by their “choice gift”  i.e found in a box of free stuff outside the Kitchen Café, accompanied by the reason we thought said gift was "person appropriate".  Getting everything  ready was such a wonderful occasion, we were laughing so much some of us couldn’t breathe or had to leave the table for a wee! What are we like?

And our reward for completing this most traditional of festive tasks? Well …….  it’s Christmas and Darrell was anxious to try a new cocktail  on us, something he’s christened a Tut B-erry Rapper comprising of a generous splash of Cherry B with a glug of Cranberry Wine stirred not shaken, on ice!  Let’s just say it was potent and we erm ….. slept very well indeed on it! 

Feeling Truly Hungarian

We expect you’ve wondered all weekend as to whether we, as honourary Hungarians  actually had a visit from Szent Miklós on Friday night ……..

…….. well, we did and we feel truly blessed in a Hungarian Hello magazine type way ……

…… and I think said Szent Miklós was pretty pleased with us as he left us quite an assortment of goodies. 

He did however leave us three small "virgacs", but Kata explained that she thought that they were more of a symbolic gesture and a hint to keep up our exemplary efforts rather than any reflection of our behaviour.

Nigel is now is very keen to follow other Hungarian festive traditions, after Kata told us about the Angel who comes on Christmas Eve leaving a tree with presents under it from Jesus.

I have had to put my foot down, as I think we have done more than enough hedging for one Christmas …….

……. but I am sure Kata wouldn’t mind him popping round on the big day for five minutes just to see how if the Angel has been.

Honorary Hungarians - Following Festive Traditions

Today you find us all in a very Hungarian frame of mind …..

……. because tomorrow night we will be hedging our festive bets as Kata, our lovely neighbour across the hall has been enthralling us with tales of Hungarian Christmas traditions ……

…….so, as honorary Hungarians, we are hoping for a visit from Szent Miklós (St Nicholas) …….. since he has to call on Kata anyway.   

As tradition dictates, we’ve scrupulously cleaned our shoes to leave on the window sill. Darrell has also found some little ornamental boots that he thought would add a certain artistic and rustic touch to the proceedings, what is he like?

Then, depending on whether we’ve been good or bad, said Szent Miklós will put special chocolates or fruits in them if we have given a good account of ourselves this year or heaven forbid, "virgacs", a switch of twigs, bound with  red paper to look like a broom, if he has found us wanting!

It’s all VERY, VERY exciting, not to mention very romantic of an international festive custom following type nature!

Festive Nibbles

 Well ....... who doesn't indulge in the odd, cheeky, little nibble now and again .......

........ especially of a Mcvities chocolaty type nature .........

........ of  a festive season afternoon  ....... to be honest, it would look rude not too!

A Most Wonderful Start To The Festive Season From Jan The Fan.

Yesterday morning was emotional, very emotional, we’ve had a very special package set aside for weeks now, a “little” something from Jan the Fan, sent extra early, after Boris made his announcement of a second meltdown and while she could still get out, just in case things went on any longer than expected. We also had the tantalising permission to open said package on the first day of December.

Inside the package, which we have to confess has been “felt” quite robustly over the past weeks, were three small festive bags, one for each of us …….

Darrell and I let Nigel open his first, as we were fearful that he might spontaneously burst with the palpable and tangible excitement if we didn’t.

Inside was a beautiful, handcrafted  snowman neckerchief/bandana, perfect for keeping his neck warm on the school run and which he immediately got Darrell to “style” for him.

Darrell and I received the same, a red Santa/Rudolph combo for Darrell and a  grey version for me, we were sooooooo thrilled, just what we wanted.

There was also card, our very first Christmas card of the season, after the year we have all had, everything, for just a few minutes at least, felt normal again in a festive type way.

Thank you soooooooo much Jan the Fan, our No. 1 Fan, we promise, that these will not leave our necks (excepting bath/shower and bedtime) for the rest of December, we absolutely love them!  THANK YOU!

It’s December, The Most Wonderful Month of The Year

Well, it wouldn’t be the first day of December without our donning our gay apparel, however, we have to be honest, we already donned said apparel last week for our annual festive photo shoot for our 2020 Christmas card.

Admittedly, it was very hard to take it all off again, but there was no way we would risk jinxing anything about Christmas by wearing our festive garb too early.

I thought that the photo shoot, of Hello magazine type nature seemed to go pretty well….

…… but when Darrell pored over the rushes later that evening, he wasn’t at all happy, he said it all seemed rather bland and so so and didn’t capture our robust and rigorous bon vivacity and total love of the season. “What do any of the pictures, lovely as they are, actually say about us as monkeys?” he sighed. 

So, he has arranged another more laid backshoot, something chilled and relaxed that, he says, should totally bring out who we really are! I dread to think, but when Darrell is in full artistic flow, you don’t like to ask too many questions!  Obviously I will keep you informed of all developments.