Viva Last Vegas ….. Scaling The Heights

OMG,  yesterday we decided to “scale the highest heights” and go up The Stratosphere, all 1,149 feet high  or 100 storeys of it.  OMG it is seriously mahoooosively mahooosively high!

I was a little worried that our little sojourn might bring on one of Darrell’s height induced nose bleeds,  The Stratosphere being the tallest freestanding observation tower in the United States …..

….. but Darrell was just too overwhelmed and occupied to even consider having an embarrassing nasal cavity malfunction on this occasion!

We will never ever, ever, ever  forget the view ……

…… we were as high as any of the helicopters that were circling all around us!!

It was all too wonderful …… but even at this great height it was still sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo HOT!!!  I know I look cool in these pictures ….. but oh my, my manly Lynx spray was seriously working overtime!

At the top of the aforementioned Stratosphere …… there are rides …. AND a bungee jump ….
…. and needless to say Nigel was well up for all of them…..

But fortuitously  unfortunately the little fella failed to meet any of the statutory height and seat belt requirements due to his diminutive size……

Of course he was gutted, but looked at it philosophically saying  “Cheap thrills alone … doth not maketh man (nor monkey)!”  What is he like?

Darrell came over a little whimsical too when he spotted a sign that said that 2,000 couples got engaged at the top of The Stratosphere each year ….. I knew I shouldn’t have sent him to the wedding chapel yesterday!!!

Viva Last Vegas ……. Going To The Chapel ….. And We’re Gonna Get ……

No trip to Last Vegas would be complete without at least one “peep” at a wedding chapel ….. and how fortuitous that our hotel, The Luxor has its own chapel for ceremonies of a matrimonial type nature …. aptly named “The Chapel at Luxor”

…. And so we (foolishly) sent our very own intrepid Darrell on a fact finding wedding chapel mission,  especially as he is the one who has been flirting with the idea of online dating,  although as of yet,  he has not encountered, as he says “….. a certain chemistry or affinity” with any of the ladies he has encountered,  who might then, potentially,  share his most honourable of intentions!”  What is he like? Darrell was most robustly impressed, he thought it might all be very tacky in a Elvis Presley meets Dolly Parton type way …… but it was all very tasteful …… and he confessed he wouldn’t rule it out as an option, should cupids arrow strike ……if ever a matrimonial situation should arise.Darrell found out that he could get a marriage license for just $60, with no waiting period or no blood test ….. the no blood test bit was a particular nuptial  relief, as Darrell is a martyr to his needle and blood letting phobia! But really,  that was putting all his hens all in one basket before his eggs had hatched ……..

He also tied the grooms seat out for size …. no doubt reliving Tom and the Lovely Laura’s joyous day ….……. and pondered (in a slightly Nigel type fashion) as to whether the diamond package which he had perused with one of the Wedding Planners which included the use of the small or large chapel for one hour, the bridal room for half an hour, a bit of ambient music, a 15-rose bridal bouquet, a nine rose maid-of-honour bouquet, two boutonnieres,  some photos, a video, an exclusive wedding certificate holder, a bottle of champagne and glasses and a two-night stay in Pyramid Deluxe room would be enough!!!! Oh good grief ….. what was I thinking sending him????

Exclusive Hello Magazine Type Pictures ……. A La Vegas Style.

Today we thought we’d share a few of our candid Hello Magazine type pictures from our  ever growing  Last Vegas album, that we haven’t had a chance to show you yet ……

…… like our very favourite carpet of choice out of all the hotels/resorts we have visited on our Last Vegas adventure ….. which we admired so much in Slots of Fun at Circus Circus that we are now seriously considering taking up all our laminate floors from the aforementioned Castle Greysquirrel, which Darrell says are sooooo last year and passé and replacing with this throughout …… how brilliant would that look?

Above, Darrell enjoying a swift root beer, which he got quite a taste for while trying to blend in with the natives  ….. on the other hand Nigel and I found that it was very much an acquired taste, as it made us heave quite considerably, we thought it tasted like the mouth wash at the dentists ….. but, each to his own.

Darrell again ….. this time trying to pick a dollar bill off the pavement outside our hotel, only to find that it was cunningly embedded in the slab to fool people …. like Darrell!

Nigel showing that he aint scared of no dragons, at the Excalibur Hotel…..

….. and sharing a mahoooosive club sandwich with Darrell at Planet Hollywood in Caesars Palace,  where the front of house girls resembled Ugly Betty’s uglier sisters and who’s customer service left much to be desired ….. and as such,  it is the only place we visited in Last Vegas that we would NOT and would NEVER, EVER recommend …..  which coming from us speaks volumes as we are usually very mild mannered, easy going monkeys

Darrell again, this time outside the World’s Largest Gift Shop ……OMG, there was so much Last Vegas tut per square inch it was overwhelming, but surprisingly (or perhaps not) we left ….. empty handed …… perhaps shopping in the poundshops of our beloved Wolverhampton has spoiled us for quality!!

….. And talking of tut …… we also failed to make any considered purchases in the Kardashian Shop at The Mirage. The Kardashians are Darrell’s guilty viewing pleasure, though he would never admit it  ….. but even he was not tempted by their extensive perfume range to smell like one (a Kardashian),  not even like Bruce!

However, Nigel would have done anything to have had a little nibble on the Statue of Liberty in jelly bean form in New York New York, ….. we strongly suspect he had a sly lick of one of her toes, in passing …… but we cannot prove anything that would be admissible in a court of law, unless we bring Tom the Scientist out to take DNA swabs of her right foot!

And, what can you say about this shot of Darrell in The Rain Forest Cafe at the MGM Grand, OMG … what an incredible, incredible  place ….

…. where sitting under a mahoooosive mushroom, surrounded by elephants and giant fish tanks and getting rained on seems the most natural thing in the world whilst enjoying a cheeky cocktail, or two …. or three!!

Darrell found a very ample sufficiency of establishments of a beauty type nature to satisfy his quest for the perfect complexion, without having to resort to going the buttocks Botox route, He always seemed to manage  to come back to the hotel at the end of the day (or night) with handfuls of complimentary samples for dehydrated skin ….. something that has been plaguing, though not hampering him during our stay!

I’ll let you come up with you own caption for Nigel … with a new friend …

…… and this one, trying to assume the pose of a Last Vegas pin up, good grief!!!

So many robustly happy memories …… memories that we’ll remember and talk about forever …… but,  we still have a couple of days left ….. and it aint over till the fat lady sings …….. so we’ve put a gag on her!!!!!  What are we like?

Viva Last Vegas – A Prickles And Chocolate Experience.

Yesterday we once more decided to leave the pleasures of “The Strip” for a while to partake in the diverse pleasures of prickles and chocolate ….

We have seen a few cactus’s on our trips into the desert …. but we what we really wanted to see were some of the more mahoooosive and particular prickly ones ….. like the ones you see in cowboy films ….

….. so we jumped on a bus and paid a visit to Ethel M®’s Botanical Cactus Garden which, would you Adam and Eve it,  also has a chocolate factory on site ….. just how fortuitous and spooky is that especially knowing our keen confectionary interests?

We “did” the cactus’s first …… OMG it was H.O.T …… well past our Richter Scale of looking and feeling fresh and fragrant …. I hate to be so descriptive …. but,  I was soooooo H.O.T. I could feel the sweat trickle down the crevice of my bum ……something I have never experienced before!

Nigel also confessed to having the same problem, coupled with a raging and potentially fatal thirst and so pondered aloud as to whether it would be frowned upon to perhaps hack into one of the aforementioned cactus’s with his penknife and drink of its juice ….. in a lifesaving, rufty tufty cowboy type fashion ……. 

Fearful that Nigel’s good intentions might be misconstrued and have us ejected from the gardens I suggested that it might be best that if we had seen all the cactus’s we wanted, it might be best to visit the cafe instead to quench our thirsts, and then venture to the Chocolate Factory …..

Now, although America likes to think it does everything bigger and better than us …. we have to be honest, and without being rude, say that interesting as Ethel M’s is …. it isn’t a patch on our Cadbury World and we should know, as we have been there, and sampled of its wares quite a few times……The Melting Tanks …….

…… and the Caramel Apple Station were a source of robust temptation for Nigel, so I made sure I kept a tight grip on him for fear of a Willy Wonka type scenario unfolding …… although he settled after being proffered some free samples.

Naturally,  we made several very small considered purchases ….. but decided it might be best to eat them there and then because, with the heat outside, we could all see them melting beyond recognition before we could get them back to our hotel ….

And our considered opinion? ….. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom ….. however,  as we were not in our kitchen at Castle Greysquirrel,  where we observe very stringent nomming conditions when reviewing, we decided that it was perhaps not the most appropriate time or place to award any of our Richter Scale of Noms …. but if we were,  Ethel M’s chocolates would have been in the between 6 and 9 bracket!

Viva Last Vegas–Being Real Americans For Just A While……

Last Vegas has many pleasures, but yesterday we decided to take a  short taxi ride from The Strip,  asking the taxi driver to take us to a typical Last Vegas supermarket, where we could shop like real Americans,  doing their weekly shop ….. so he took us to the nearest Walmart …..

OMG ….. the size of their melons made our eyes water ……. they were mahoooosively mahooosive!  In fact we lost Nigel in them for at least half an hour!!!

As “Candy” as they call it in the US, aficionados, and renowned reviewers of the same we were most anxious to see for ourselves all the confectionary we had seen in films and on TV up close and personal and also to make a few considered purchases for the sampling there of!

Naturally,  Darrell went out of his way to find candy with names that caused him robust amusement …… like Dum Dums ….. suggesting that they should be Nigel’s candy of choice!!!

Whereas he thought his candy of aforementioned choice should obviously be Smarties ….. however these were not Smarties as we know them, not candy coated chocolate beans ….. these were more like Fizzers, which for the uninitiated could be very confusing!

        American Smarties                           English Smarties …..

English Fizzers

It’s very easy to see how international confectionary confusion could ensue and cause potential mayhem  ….. but vive la difference, as the saying goes and  “When in the U.S,  do as the USians do!”

The choice, even for us hardened confectionateers was overwhelming ,  as were the size of some of the packets ……….

However, we did manage to fill a bijou trolleyette with an ample sufficiency of well considered purchases!!!!

Nigel cast his net of interest  a little wider ……

……. as he was desperate to see real live Jell-o …. it did not disappoint!

…… And some things just left him floored with awe and wonder, like jumbo frosted Honey Buns ……. however,  I shall refrain from telling you what Nigel actually described them as looking like!Then there were Bear Claws ……

…… Kimberley Cakes …..

……. and very brightly (I would call it garish) coloured birthday cakes, which would appeal to a young monkey whose birthday it wasn’t.

He then wandered a little way and discovered the Disney paint pots and declared that when we got home he wanted his bedroom to be painted in EVERY Disney colour ……. no doubt to match his non birthday cake!

All in all it was a very interesting experience ….. something we never dreamt we would ever have the opportunity of doing …. to shop as real Americans shop! It took quite a while for us to get through the checkout, what with our considered purchases  and everyone telling us how much they loved our cute Australian accents ……….. Happy Days!!!