Friday, 30 September 2011

New Cadbury Twirl Bites

 Cadbury Twirl Bites
We were VERY excited when we saw that in our village Tesco Express, they had an ample stock of the new  Cadbury Twirl Bites prominently displayed on their confectionary shelves.  Naturally it would have looked very  rude not to try them,  so we thought that today would be an opportune moment to do a cheeky confectionary review.
Cadbury Twirl Bites 1
After robustly sampling the chocolatey comestibles we can only express three words pertinent to our task …………
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NOM, NOM, NOM ….. a confectionary triumph!  The resealable packet, though an excellent idea, was however superfluous, because, after our judicious and rigourous testing, there was nothing left to seal up!
20 noms out of 10!

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Cuckoo Spit ….. Yuk!

Lavendar Fields
The thought of cuckoos flying about willy nilly and spitting randomly all over my lavender isn’t a particularly pleasant  or edifying thought.
cockoo spit
Then Auntie Jan told me that cuckoos spitting is a myth as they don’t actually have the throat-al mechanisms to spit. She said that the secretions that I have found on my said lavender plants were really the result of some beetle rubbing it’s legs together, which is equally as disgusting ….. I think I had better look on Wikipedia to get the real factoids.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

We Know Autumn Is Here …

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….. because Darrell has found the first Daddy Long Legs of the year to seek shelter and warmth  on our landing windowsill.
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I dared him to touch one of its legs, but Darrell said that he would have an attack the hebby-jebbies if it moved and started flittering and fluttering all over the shop …….  and as window is on the stairs, it would be a major health and safety issue if he fell down them during his said hebby-jebbies!  So we are just taking bets to see how long it stays there without moving!

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Darrell, Taking A Part In Historical History

WGHS School Photo
To celebrate the centenary of the school where we work,  it was decided that a special photograph should be taken with everyone in the school on it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t be there as I had been sent on a course about binding machines which Sandra the Resources Lady  thought would be invaluable to my career and CV, but Darrell was there to take keen interest and to represent both Nigel and I.
 WGHS School Photo 1
He said that watching the men set up the camera and all the scaffolding was fascinating, and then seeing how they organised everyone to be in the just right position utterly amazing.
WGHS School Photo 2
Darrell waited patiently for his time to be called …... feeling very honoured to be included, after being told that he was now regarded as “very much part of the school”.
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Finally, he took his position between the Maths and History Ladies. He said he felt a great of occasion as he stood with his head held high, his back straight, with his hands behind his back and his best photograph smile on his face.
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….. and then after three shots it was all over……
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Darrell decided to hang back for a while after everyone had gone, to ponder what he had just been part of ….
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…… the picture will probably hang in the school corridor long after we have gone and if one day, in hundreds of years time it is deemed unimportant and constrained to an old cellar, perhaps a Professor of an Archaeological type nature will re-discover it and wipe away the dust and cobwebs to look at it very carefully under his magnifying glass and spot a little monkey on the second row to the left and wonder who it was and what role he had played…….   Makes you go all spine-chingley doesn’t it?

Monday, 26 September 2011

Reviewers Of A Professional Type Nature, Michael Winner Look Out And A Blatant Display of Product Placement …..

Corsodyl 1
Yesterday we were almost rendered senseless speechless!  As you know, we like to do reviews on the new comestibles of a confectionary and other stuff type nature that  we find in our village SPAR or Tesco Express or sometimes, our lovely followers, send us little vittles they have found and request our considered opinion.
But never, ever did we imagine that a real life corporate type company would ask us to do a professional review for them …. but it seems that our reputation for using   our “nom scale”  to a evaluate products  has gone before us and now companies are clambering to be nommed by us!  How BRILLIANT is that?
We teach Michael Winner To nom
We are keeping the name of our first “proper” review under wraps for the moment, we don’t want Sandra, The Resources Lady and Boss to think that we might be leaving the rush photocopying world for a life not unlike that of Michael Winner (but without the diva type demands). However we are preparing our palettes in preparation for this honoured review by undergoing an intensive gargling, flossing and tongue combing programme.
How very, very exciting!

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Darrell Does Under The Hammer.

Bridgnorth 1
Darrell has dreams of living in a cottage in Bridgnorth !
Darrell is quite a big fan of the programme Under The Hammer and is often saying he’d like to start off his portfolio and become a developer of a property type nature.  The fact that he knows nothing about properties, buying a house, renovations, etc. doesn’t seem to put him off!
Pic 1
Anyway, when he saw this one bed roomed  property up for auction in Bridgnorth, (one our favouritist places to go to on a Saturday),   he thought it looked “most romantic” in the estate agents picture and despite it needing a complete refurbishment he decided to go and have a look for himself.
House for Sale
In reality it was not quite as picturesque as Darrell had imagined, especially the ragged curtain blowing out of the broken upstairs window, which gave it a sort of Derek Acorah, infested by entities quality about it!
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So after much soul searching in the Costa Coffee in the High Street,  with a vanilla latte and banana and pecan breakfast muffin ….
….. Darrell realised that for now his dreams of skipping down the streets of Bridgnorth, bidding good morrow to all the townsfolk he met along the way and living in what he  calls a biscuit tin cottage ……
Bridgnorth 3
…… may have to wait a little longer, but it’s good to have a dream because, to quote the song…….” you got to have a dream... if you don’t have a dream,  How you gonna have a dream come true?”

Saturday, 24 September 2011

One Step To Self Sufficiency Too Far …?

acorn bread
I think Darrell is spending far too much time nattering between photocopying runs. It seems that after Darrell mused to Mr B, the History teacher, that we appeared to have an abundance of fallen acorns on the school fields this year, Mr B informed him that the Native American Indians would grind acorns to make flour to make bread and cakes and as an ingredient (probably as a thickening agent) in stews.
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Darrell, being a sponge of a very empty type nature soaks up any sort of information like this, especially when it comes from Mr B, who he holds in very high esteem. So after work he took his SPAR carrier bag onto the fields to forage for acorns.
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He arrived home late, flushed with excitement, eager to start looking for acorn recipes on the internet and also a little embarrassed as the contents of his bag had spilt all over the Banga bus and the new grumpy bus driver was not very impressed!
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I am saying nothing…. and am just letting him sort it all out for himself, then perhaps it will go no further than him wondering as to where and how he can get his bag of acorns ground into flour and he gets bored.
Acorn Bread 1 And to be truthful I don’t entirely relish the thought of spreading my marmite on slice of hot buttered acorn toast!
For more ways to use acorns in your diet Darrell recommends -

Friday, 23 September 2011

XXX Happy Birthday Jan The Fan XXX

Jan The Fan's B'day
Today is a very special lady’s birthday who we love very much and know as Jan The Fan. It had become Jan The Fan’s life mission to let the whole world know about us ….. she is always writing to someone of great importance to tell them to read our blog including Paul O’Grady, Woman’s Hour, The Natural Confectionary Company and Derek Acorah to name just a few! So today is our day to salute Jan The Fan and thank her for all her work on our behalf.
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As our resident wizard of a computer type nature it was Darrell who came up with the idea of sending her a personalised birthday card from us all. 
He found a reputable site and then Nigel and I joined him to impart our ideas and thoughts so that  between us we could put together the perfect card for Jan The Fan, which expressed our birthday wishes and gratitude.
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We think we got the front just right, us sitting at the kitchen table with a Tesco own brand carrot cake and a lighted candle on top and me with a cake knife poised.
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….. and inside we expressed our feelings as best we could.
Jan The Fans Birthday 1
Then all that was left to do was to press the “confirm” button and then return to the kitchen to eat our cake thinking of Jan The Fan having a wonderful birthday in romantic Newcastle Upon Tyne…… nom, nom, nom

Thursday, 22 September 2011

An Invasion Of Evil Giant Frogs?

Picture 257
Poor Nigel, he was having such a lovely time playing hide and seek in the garden with his best friend Marcel ….
Picture 267
……. until he went to find a place to hide near the patio doors …..
Picture 265
We heard a tiny little yelp and found Nigel stood rigid, eyes wide, head gently motioning towards what he thought was the beginning of an invasion of giant frogs coming from the garden, intent on invading the house for their own nefarious means …..
Picture 280
Darrell had to gently pick up a still transfixed Nigel and take him into the house to see the opposite side of the window …
Picture 270
….. to show him that the giant frog was actually a garden thermometer of a novelty type nature that had amused Andy greatly enough to purchase.  Poor Nigel, it took two cups of tea and three Hob Nobs to calm him down!

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

In House Training

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Yesterday was an Inset Day, and although there weren’t any rush photocopying jobs to do, Sandra said that she wanted us to come in as she had planned a robust In House training session for us. We were very excited at the prospect because we thought that if we had a few more  skills of a reprographic nature under our belts we might be able to ask for a small pay rise, especially when the festive season looming before us.
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We arrived early, smartly dressed and with hands washed as Sandra has instructed. We were feeling a little trepidations, as this was our first training session, but when we saw that Sandra was wearing a badge that said “In House Lamination Development Officer”, as we knew that we were in the hands of a professional.
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Sandra had done a very informative PowerPoint presentation for us to watch, and she told us that we should listen very carefully as we would have to undergo a multiple choice test at the end of our training, as well as a practical demonstration of our newly acquired laminating skills.
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As we sat in front of the machine for the practical part of our training Sandra explained how to insert the sheets of paper to be laminated into the laminating pouches and then how to feed them gently into the already warmed laminator.
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Our first attempts were very successful and Sandra said that she was very impressed with the high level of aptitude we had shown in our laminationing. She decided to bring forward our theoretical multiple choice test and if we scored over 50% she would let us laminate for “real”
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Needless to say we passed the test with aplomb and while Sandra went to sign our Lamination Proficiency Certificates she set us a task of great importance…… laminating the RS Dept. photos .……
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…..but then things went horribly,  horribly wrong …… all those lovely photos had somehow become all mangled up …. our morti had never been so fied!
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Darrell muttered something about pride coming before a storm….. but when Sandra returned to the office, our certificates in hand,  we decided to be up front and honest with her and not hide what we had done up our jumpers, she tutted and sighed and then said philosophically, what’s  done is done and we still got our certificates!
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