Thursday, 31 July 2014

Nigel Gets Loom Bands!

Nigel has been pestering none stop for weeks now for some Loom Bands, and finally we, well I really mean Darrell relented.
All I could foresee was finding tiny, multicultural multi-coloured elastic bands everywhere, but Darrell said he thought it would be nice for Nigel to be part of the latest trend ….. and learn how to make stuff…….
…… and he would personally make sure that I wouldn’t find said tiny elastic multicultural multi-coloured bands everywhere!
So Darrell and Nigel sat down and proceeded to learn how to make a loom band bracelet ….. Let’s just put it this way, it was a lot harder than they both first thought, bearing in mind none of us are actually blessed with fingers for making things of a fiddly type nature, and there were words like “oh bum” “poo” and “aghhhhh” bandied about as an expression of their growing frustration!
But after three hours of blood, sweat and almost tears, one loom band bracelet was created, but probably not quite as per the instruction sheet …..
……. which Nigel very kindly gave to Darrell, as it was most of his aforementioned blood, sweat and almost tears that went into it! …… Work on Nigel’s own loom band bracelet begins erm….. tomorrow, when they have recovered sufficiently to do it all again!

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Share A Coke, Not Quite …. But Almost

Darryl Darrell came back from town in an absolute state of flux, as he’d “almost” found his name in amongst all the “Share a coke” bottles in the big Tesco in town and had therefore felt compelled to make an extra considered purchase, which had then started him musing that perhaps DARRYL was now the de rigueur and a la mode way to spell DARRELL, and perhaps he really ought to start spelling his name in the new fashion and perhaps even changing his name by deed poll!
I told him that it would all be far too complicated and anyway, replacing “ell”’s with “yl”’s was a sloppy trend that even Hugh, his best friend and mentor who lives the showbiz life in Notting Hill would poo poo, as something that would date him horribly as he got older. 
Darrell (2)
But, that didn’t stop Nigel wondering if his name could be altered to be more en trend…. Nigyl perhaps? But then he worked out that he had enough trouble writing the “g” his name the right way around without the further complication of another squiggly letter with a loopy tail!
Picture1So “Nigel” remains “Nigel” thank goodness ….. but now poor Darrell is on a mission to find Nigel a said “Nigel” bottle as Nigel has now set his heart on having a special bottle with his name on!  I give up!  Why does life have to be so complicated and highfaluting at times?

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Tesco Substitution Night

Tuesday night is Tesco delivery night ……. our weekly dose of  excitement and tangible and palpable anticipation chez Castle Greysquirrel!
…… and to heighten the aforementioned tangible and palpable anticipation I very much look forward to the occasional and unexpected substitution, it doesn’t occur every single week, (and perhaps if it did, it would get boring), sometimes the substitutions are a little disappointing, but chez Castle Greysquirrel it would be considered most rude to send them back ……
This week our personal shopper was not able to supply us with the lamb steaks I had spent quite a bit of time drooling over, usually they are far too expensive for our means, but this week they were down to half price, which is why I had decided to make such a considered purchase …….
……. sadly they were substituted for lamb chops, not quite the same thing or the fruits de mon drooling revers  …. but perfectly acceptable when accompanied by roasties, a touch of sage and onion stuffing, peas, carrots, cauliflower, green beans, broccoli, peas and cabbage and mint jelly, never the less, nom, nom, nom!

Monday, 28 July 2014

Hmmm, Not Such A Brilliant Plan

Darrell had been shopping after work and came home full of the joys of the barbeque season having purchased two “instant” barbecues at a “bargain” price …. “Get your bangers and chops out Monkey!” he yelled “ ….. for tonight we shall feast greatly!”
So while I rummaged in the fridge for said bangers and chops and a couple of other barbecuable delicacies, Darrell and Nigel went into the garden to set about lighting the aforementioned  “instant” and “bargain” barbecues, their mouths watering, as a hearty barbecue is well up there on our Richter Scale of summer comestible noms.
This, I may hasten to add occurred at around 3.30, with a more than ample sufficiency of time for the charcoal to start burning ……. well, that was the theory ….
They say that a watched kettle never boils, well I think I can now safely say neither does an “instant” or “bargain” barbecue ….
…… because no matter how much Nigel and Darrell encouraged Darrell’s “bargains” very little happened …..
…… and I have to give them their due, their diligence did not falter, however by 7.30 it was patently obvious that the chances of having any glowing embers hot enough on which to cook our belated tea, now turned supper, were non existent ……
……… so I felt I had to take the executive decision to tell Darrell that perhaps the bangers and chops would be best cooked inside instead, rather than risk the distinct possibility of us all going to bed hungry if we waited any longer!

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Darrell’s Confectionary Of The Week

This week Darrell will mostly be eating giant, two foot long, sour apple  flavoured liquorice cables that are filled with fondant …….
Long liqourice cables…….. of which he is exceedingly partial!  Nom, nom, very long, nom, nom!!!

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Ship Ahoy!

Just how how incredibly romantic would it be if we had our very own ship moored outside Castle Greysquirrel?

Friday, 25 July 2014

Sometimes, Life Chez Castle Greysquirrel Can Be A Little Mundane, ……. If Not Down Right Boring!

Friday is “Bin day” chez Castle Greysquirrel and it’s Darrell’s job to make sure that the right bin is been put out for right collection  ……So today, according to Darrell’s little book of council bin collection, it’s the blue recyclable materials one that is due to be emptied ……
And then next Friday, it will be the black household and green garden refuse that he will have to wheel out …… making sure that the lids are flat down and bins not overfilled …… or they won’t be taken
I know we often portray our lives as being mostly very glamorous and romantic …. but sometimes we have to be normal and ordinary!  It keeps us grounded!

Thursday, 24 July 2014

A Sad, Sad, Sad, Sad Day ……..

Today was a very, very emotional day for us all, it was the last day of the school year   …… and we tried so hard to hold it together, but we failed miserably ……..  and any photograph of the days events would have been a tasteless intrusion of our grief ……………….…… We have such sad, sad  news to impart …. our beloved, beloved, beloved PE Lady has forsaken being a PE Lady to become a Physiotherapist's Reception Lady instead …… and has left us …… left us ….. like three brides at the alter!!  We really can’t talk about it at the moment, such was our unprecedented distress …………… we were put in a taxi and sent home …….. and we haven’t moved from the kitchen table since.  …….What is to become of us and what will we do without our PE Lady and the PE Lady’s Mum???

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

What’s In A Name?

To be honest Darrell Monkeey isn’t really a name to conjure with ……
….. on the other hand Anthony R Peach sounds sooooooo much more romantic of a Mills and Boon type nature ……

….. Anthony R Peach would be robustly dashing, with a quiff and a manly jawline, tight breeches and strong dependable arms in which to melt (if you were a lady, obviously!).

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

I Can’t Believe I Just Did That

I can’t believe that I’ve just tried to open the door at work …….
…… with the keys to our front door …..  I must be losing the plot!!!

Monday, 21 July 2014

Nigel’s Dreaming Now …….!!!

It’s certainly been a weird few days chez Castle Greysquirrel for dreams ….. what with Darrell’s nightmare of a few days ago …. and the girls at school putting on “A Midsummer’s Night Dream” for the end of term………… however, last night was appeared to be Nigel’s turn, and to be perfectly frank and honest with you, his “dream” was so weird and far fetched that to both Darrell and I discounted it immediately, putting it down to Nigel’s excessive cheese and Vimto consumption before bed.
Nigel told us, with eyes like saucers, that sometime between 2.00 and 3.00am he was woken by what he thought was the very loud mooing of cows (or some such other large creature) He said that he lay in bed for ages thinking “Nooooooooooooo, it can’t be!”, until, in the end he felt compelled to get out of bed and look out of the window ….. to see an absence of cows (or some other such large creatures ) ….. only a stationary mini with its back lights flashing ….. which then drove off quite quickly. Nigel said that he then got back into bed, but could still hearing said loud mooings for a little while longer …… and then still mystified he returned to his slumbers.
When Nigel woke next morning, his “dream” had all but faded from his mind …. until he drew back the curtains ….. and saw what he thought looked like squished poo on the road and poo splatterings on the pavement!!!!
There was also a discernable animalistic whiff in the air when he and I went outside to investigate further, which indeed confirmed that it was poo of a large creature type nature!
Now,  we have never really thought ours was the sort of village that anyone would feel the need to herd cows through, especially in the middle of the night,  which turned our rather vivid imaginations to wildly robust and fanciful ideas of cattle rustlers using a mini to herd said animals up our road and past the Castle ……….
Concerned, that Nigel may have been an innocent witness to nefarious bovine goings on, we decided that perhaps we ought leave a message for our village policeman …… we await his reply …… I just hope they don’t think that it was some sort of prank call, because we have the forensic evidence to prove otherwise!

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Utterly and Totally BESOTTED!

Our Baby Iris is the most beautiful little creature we have ever set eyes on ….
We just can’t stop gazing at her and sighing and billing and cooooooing  …..
…… even her little burps, big poos, wee’s and dribbles …….

…… are tooooooooooooooooooo wonderful for words …
…… and all her little things have the most wonderful baby smell, which Darrell’s says kicks all his Dolce and Gabbana stuff into touch, baby smell is the best smell in the world!
Becoming relatives is the bestest, bestest best thing that has ever happened to us …. and who would have thought that Nigel had so much hidden winding talent inside him!

Saturday, 19 July 2014

A New Type Of De Riguer

Darrell says ……
baby 1…… that shopping for a baby girl, to wit our Baby Iris ……..
dress 2……… is a whole new minefield of de rigueur, pink not having really been in his mindscape of colour, until now  …… however Hugh, his best friend and mentor who lives the showbiz life in Notting Hill on the other hand has never shrunk from or been a stranger to the delights and intricacies of wearing pink in all it’s many shades and hues …. with flair and panache …….
Primark baby shoes 3……. and so will be guiding Darrell through this terrifying aforementioned minefield …….

Friday, 18 July 2014

It’s An Office Birthday!!

It was Sandra, in the Office’s yesterday, if you remember from a long time ago Sandra used to be our boss in the old office, but now she isn’t, although we still wish she was!

We decided to buy her two boxes of capybara cappuccino drinks, because when she comes back from working in Reception, the first thing she says is that she is “parched” and then,  goes off to make herself a drink, and we had noticed that she very much enjoys a coffee sachet of various assortment.
And with Office Birthday’s ……  comes cake, and Sandra bought in a very exciting and tempting range with which to celebrate hers ….. choosing what to have was, to be honest was for Nigel and I a very robustly challenging affair …….
But in the end I opted for an individual Battenberg and Nigel a morsel of Millionaires Shortbread, nom, nom, nom, we very much appreciate an aforesaid Office Birthday between duties of an officey type nature!