For Queen, Country And Boris

Our voluntary Corvid-19 testing research box has arrived and was greeted by hushed tones and not a little trepidation by all at The Towers this morning.

There was so much to absorb including some quite exact instructions to be followed. It was indeed a great honour to be asked to take part, but also great responsibility as we certainly don’t want to be found wanting as far as returning a successful sample is concerned. Once we thought we knew what we were doing, the next thing to decide was which one of us was up for being the victim guinea pig.

Just one look at the diagrams in the instruction manual and length of swab stick had Darrell’s gag reflex going into overdrive, which ruled him out almost immediately, but having said that, he then offered to arrange the collection of the sample, put together the box it has to go in and all the sticking of labels.

So, it was then between Nigel and I, and bless him, Nigel got in there first, willingly offering, he declared, his orifices up for Queen, country and Boris, in that order, no matter how uncomfortable or intrusive of said orifices. What is he like?

Which meant it was down to me to do the swabbing ……..

I tried to be as gentle as I could, while Nigel lay back and thought of his beloved Queen, country and Boris, despite his eyes watering just a little bit …..

…… with Darrell carefully averting his eyes while getting on with putting the return box together.

It was a proud moment and something of a relief all round when I was able  to tell Nigel that I thought I had collected enough of his mucus membranes for the country to salute him!  The boy dun gud!

Nigel’s sample is now in the fridge awaiting collection later on today. We await the results with baited breath, although as none of us have been displaying any symptoms whatsoever we strongly suspect that Nigel’s will be found a resounding negative!  Happy Days!!!