You Wear It Well!

This hairpiece was handed into lost property ……..

…. and as the rush photocopying was slow and we were at a bit of a loose end, bored, Darrell dared me to try it on ……

….. between gasps for breath and much laughter he said I put him in mind of a young Ronnie Wood….. !

Eye Spy With My Little Eye ……A Mahoooosive Costa Coffee Cup!!

On the forecourt of our local garage there is a mahooosive Costa Coffee cup and whenever I pass it I can’t help wondering how long it would take to drink a cup of coffee of that size! I don’t think I could manage it on my own, but perhaps with Darrell’s and Nigel’s help we could drain it in a week or so!!

I suppose it is the coffee drinkers equivalent to a fish bowl cocktail!

Bathroom Comfort Of A Designer Type Nature.

As you know we take our “Bathroom Comfort” very seriously, especially during the festive season ….. even now we still have a little of our silver star tissue left on our roll from our New Year’s celebrations.

Now don’t ask me how they got onto the subject …….. but Darrell was  talking to one of his favourite work colleagues, the delectable Sancha  (who teaches Food Technology)  about her comfort tissue of choice …… and what she produced from her bag left him momentarily speechless …….

……. and very, very envious …….. she ONLY had a roll of bright pink spotty designer tissue ….. he ooooohed and ahhhhhhed like there was tomorrow and couldn’t help stroke it and hold it close as he did so!

As soon as he got home he was on the website before you could say “Carry On Up Your Own Convenience” and pored for hours over all the designs …. every minute or so you could hear him gasp “They’ve got tissue for your birthday so you can have a celebratory type pooh!” and “They’ve got some with eyes on, and cactus’s on and barbed wire  and ladybirds and tiger print…….oooooooooooo, there’s too many, I can’t choose!!!!! ” ……  and then he started fretting because they had too many Christmas designs to choose from too! He also found out that Simon Cowell only uses black tissue Chez X Factor …….. oh Heaven help us …. we’ll never hear the last of this ….. !!  What is he like?

http://www.thedesignertoiletrollcompany.co.uk/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=4

Nobby’s Nuts

Yesterday Darrell came in from the paper shop clutching a copy of The Sun (bought for the holiday tokens) and a stupid smirk on his face. “I’ve had the most brilliant idea for a Savoury Snack of Choice Review” he giggled, and proceeded to unwrap two packs of Nobby’s Nuts that he had secreted in his paper!

To be honest I was rendered slightly speechless …. but not wishing to curb Darrell’s natural enthusiasm I went along with his intellectual thought.

The table was duly cleared and Darrell got his nuts out, displaying them in a very artistic fashion on an appropriate tit bit dish.

We then proceeded to nibble on the said nuts ….. however, though we tried to be judicious in our sampling and critique ….

…… everything had a double entendre and sounded very rude, so no matter how innocent our remarks …. each pertinent points was worthy of a Carry On Film ……
….. and poor Darrell laughed so hard that he developed very sore ribs, and at times gasped for breath, while we both had tears running down our faces …..

So in an effort to inject a little brevity to the proceeding, and try to rescue something from this “non review”, I suggest that if we have aroused your curiosity, you could try to find some Nobby’s Nuts of your own  to sample.  AND tell you that there are some very interesting information about what some people do with their nuts on the back of the packets .. like the fact that Tom Miller pushed one of his nuts to the top of Pikes Peak with his nose! But I am NOT telling Darrell that …. because mayhem would certainly ensue!

OMG Darrell’s Won A BMW ……… !!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! Darrell took a phone call yesterday afternoon of such mahoosive import that we are still a little shell shocked! It seems that when he went over to Jade House for our once a month, Saturday takeaway in November (for a No. 23, No. 56, No. 37, a portion of chips and an egg fried rice to share)  he was also coerced into buying a £1 charity raffle ticket  of which he had long since forgotten. Anyway it transpires that Darrell has only won the first prize …… which happens to be the use of any BMW of our choice for a whole weekend …… how brilliant is that? Darrell was almost apoplectic!

Since neither Darrell and I drive due to our inability to reach either the steering wheel or pedals of a car we have left it to Andy to sort out the minutia of Darrell’s prize as he, being mechanical of mind, knows all  about cars of a luxury and tres expensive type nature.

It was Andy who also suggested that we should synchronise the timing of our “win” with one of our Sun £9.50 holidays, so that we could travel in style as well as create a good impression at our holiday park, but first we had to decide upon which model to ask for.  Darrell put forward a very robust and measured argument for a BMW M1 Homage ………..

But, having accompanied us many times on our little Sun £9.50 seaside junkets Andy thought it best to opt for one of the larger BMW models in order to accommodate all our usual holiday paraphernalia such as our buckets and spades, wind breaks, surf boards, wetsuits etc. ……….. so eventually we plumped for a Gran Turismo!

We can just  picture ourselves sitting on the back seat now, sunglasses and cigars akimbo ……pressing all the buttons and making the windows go up and down!

But we have already been told that the drinking of Vimto or Ribena is absolutely “verboten” should our car have a white leather interior.

So ………. we are more excited than if it were Christmas Eve and all we can say is …………… “Look out Dawlish Warren here we come!”

My First Horlicks At The Whitburn Coffee House–Bridgnorth

I have a new malty and milky hot beverage of choice ….

….. it’s the most wonderful drink I have ever taste-en, and just do not know how where it has been all my life!
I only discovered it when I popped into The Whitburn Coffee House in Bridgnorth on Saturday while on a little shopping excursion …. I was about to ask for a latte (my usual shopping beverage of choice) but then I spotted Horlicks on the menu and curiosity got the better of me….
I am now a slave to its malty delights!

Purchasing A Few Comestibles!!

Darrell, Nigel and I are very partial to the delights of liquorice and so when I was in Bridgnorth yesterday it would have been very remiss of me NOT to purchase a little of the said delicacy as a special treat for us all.

Sometimes I think the stall has a little too much choice ….. but after a robust selection process, I think I purchased just the right combination of sweeties of a liquorice type nature to provide an adequate nibble satisfaction experience for when we watched Celebrity Big Brother (our current reality programme of choice) later in the evening.

When I got home I showed Darrell and Nigel the veritable smorgasbord of liquorice I had chosen for their delectation ….

…… suffice to say there was much nom nomming …. and my choice did indeed pass muster!

….. and Darrell made it his job to make absolutely sure there weren’t any sweeties left in the bottom of any bag that could have been accidently thrown away ….  what is he like?

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Liquorice-Stall/264780433571857?sk=wall#!/pages/The-Liquorice-Stall/264780433571857?sk=wall&filter=1

Christopher

You may have noticed, as Mr D has,  that we have a regular visitor from the USA called Dianne, who often leaves a lovely comment.  Well, the other morning Darrell and I both woke up with a spooky Derek Acorah feeling, and just as I was about to say it, Darrell announced that he thought we should e-mail Dianne, as he thought she would be a perfect adoptee of one of our abandoned and unloved monkeys rescued from e-bay, who was hankering for a chance to go across the pond.

So we bit the bullet and e-mailed Dianne and it appears both our spooky feelings were spot on and that Dianne, after seeing the picture we sent was totally overwhelmed with love and immediately agreed to adopt our abandoned and unloved monkey, who she decided to called Christopher!.

Needless to say it was passports and visas akimbo when we told Christopher the news.  It was all the more exciting for Christopher to find out that Dianne lives in Florida, so he will never want for a freshly squeezed orange again … which, we further informed him, cannot be compared to the tiddly oranges currently to be found in our fruit bowl.

We told Dianne that is Christopher is totally addicted to Pawn Stars, it is his very favourite programme of choice and that if she was ever in the vicinity of Las Vegas, she could give places like Caesar's Palace a wide berth  BUT it was Christopher’s  dream to spend just five minutes in the shop to meet Rick, Chumlee, Big Hos and Dad and if possible sell something of a valuable type nature, perhaps one of Darrell’s holey stones to Rick!

But, if that wasn’t possible Christopher would be very happy to watch Pawn Stars or American Pickers on the sofa in his new home, while enjoying the odd Krispy Kreme (our doughnut of choice) or a Hershey Bar or Tootsie Roll.

We told Christopher that he ought to make the most of his last mug of PG Tips,  as we are not too sure about the tea situation in the USA and that he would probably have to take up coffee on rye or something romantic like that.

We all took five minutes to be alone with our individual thoughts. Christopher is going on a momentous adventure, and will be the first Mum’s Monkey to go to a new life in a new far away land par avion….. but we know he will keep in touch and we are taking bets on how long it takes him to get an American accent!

Darrell, A Gentlemen What Lunches With Ladies!

I have to admit that Darrell does have a certain charm where ladies the are concerned, so when Julia, T, Helen and Sarah asked him to join them for a Saturday Girlie Shopping Trip and Luncheon in Stafford last week, who was he to refuse them his company and savior faire!

However he was a little nervous as the Bangha Bus doesn’t go as far as Stafford, which meant that he had to catch two trains to get there, something he has never done on his own before!

The time to change trains was tight, so Darrell was a little anxious waiting for his first train to arrive,  but as the first leg of his journey from our village into town only takes about five minutes he had no real need to worry.

Darrell’s anxiety levels did not abate however because the conductor failed to come round for Darrell to buy his ticket ….and he was petrified that he would be fined hundreds of pounds for fare dodging with everyone looking on when he tried to get through the barrier at Wolverhampton ….

The gods must have been smiling on Darrell though because there was no one checking for tickets when he arrived and he was quickly able to finally purchase a ticket for the rest of his journey minutes before the Stafford train arrived……

…… which he clung on to for dear life and presented to anyone who he thought looked of an important inspectorial type nature!

The ladies were already seated when Darrell arrived at The Bear Grill, their restaurant of choice and had already ordered him a lemonade with ice and a slice anticipating that he might be a touch overwrought after his first train journey with changes.

However, all was  soon forgotten as Darrell was proffered a very large menu to peruse.

….. and after much deliberation and erring and umming, he eventually plumped for bacon and black pudding salad with a balsamic glaze and mixed leaves, followed by  Chicken Caesar salad – chargrilled chicken breast topped with grilled crispy bacon, anchovies, parmesan and croutons …… a lot of salad type stuff, but after the excesses of Christmas Darrell has been keen to get back to our 5 a day regime! So robust was his resolve that he turned down the invitation to 2 Knickerbocker Glories and 4 spoons, and that must have been very hard for him!

Darrell said that time had just flown in such pleasant and entertaining company but was a little taken aback upon leaving the restaurant  to find that it was dark … and NO shopping had been done!!!  Oh well, they’ll just have to do it all again ….. the next Saturday!