Looking Forward To ……

It will be so lovely when I can get to work and it’s not dark!

Nigel, Promoter Extraordinaire!

The free porridge promotion in the kitchen is going down very well, with Nigel making it his “mission” that everyone should avail themselves of one small bowlful, even though it might not be their breakfast of choice, just to say that they have given it a try …….

…… and so, as the self appointed “Face of Porridge”,  he has taken to popping into the various offices in the morning with samples!

Yesterday it was my turn for “Nigel’s Daily Delivery of Deliciousness” as he calls it, and as I tucked in he didn’t take his eyes off me for a second, until I had finished every single morsel, waiting for my considered opinion ……

…… which naturally was “Nom, nom, nom”. It was indeed most delicious …… and I couldn’t help myself ….. I just had to ask “Please sir, could I have some more?”

His little face was an absolute picture ……. as  he went scurrying off back to the kitchen to see if there were any seconds!

….. he had made another conversion and his raison d’etre was complete!”

We Are So Honoured And So Very Fortunate!

We’ve had a couple of enquiries about the badge Nigel has been wearing since Christmas on his new puffa jacket ….

….. well, it was a present from The Equally Lovely Denise (the Lovely Laura’s mum) and is the “official” badge of the Morris Dancing Club, that aforementioned Equally Lovely Denise is a member of, to wit The Ironmen and Severn Gilders Morris Club,  and of which we are now unofficial “official” members.

We all have a badge and from this day forward we will wear them with the utmost of pride, with or without our Morris Dancers hats ….. which were also presents from the much aforementioned Equally Lovely and Talented Denise.

But there’s more ……. because The Equally Lovely and Talented Denise is also The Equally Lovely, Talented and Very Kind Denise, because she especially commissioned us a Roses and Castles/Canal Art badge each, with our names on.  How WONDERFUL is that?

They are totally exquisite and we are very robustly touched by the thought, and will also wear them with great pride.

Nigel’s badge is a little big for him to wear on a daily basis, however Darrell, our resident Gok Wan, has told Nigel that it would be seen as tres en trend and de rigueur in Morris Dancing circles to wear his at a jaunty angle on his Morris Dancers hat. 

What is he like and how does he know that?????? Anyway, “Thank you” Equally Lovely, Talented and Very Kind Denise, we love them xxxx

Burns Night At Lunchtime

Nigel is VERY excited, and has been beseeching us to partake in the Burns Night that the kitchen is putting on at lunchtime on the 24th January. Yes, we are very confused by the time and the date too, but don’t like to question Nigel too much, for fear of confusing him too!

Now,  Darrell and I pride ourselves on our cosmopolitan and adventurous tastes and palates ……..

…… but are we ready for cock a leekie casserole, cullen skink, and creamy clap shot with roasted roots … with cranachan for afters?  It sounds more like a Bushtucker Trail to us than a celebration of the great poets life and poetry!!!   We shall see ……

Erm ….. Thank You Darrell

Yesterday, Darrell came home from one of his shopping trips in a complete state of flux ….. he had bought me a present ….. something, he said that  he I had always wanted …….

To wit a leopard print TV snuggle blanket …… of which, I cannot ever remember making mench of …. or desiring ……

However, not to seem ungrateful and under great pressure from Darrell I slipped it on …… to Darrell’s great pleasure and amidst much ohhhhing and ahhhhing.

I can’t really say it really felt “me”, and, I have also to beg the question, what is it with Darrell and animal print at the moment? I think he may be spending far too much time Skyping with our friend Hugh, who lives the showbiz life in Notting Hill!  No doubt Hugh has told Darrell that this is the latest  de rigueur trend a la Londres, and that we need to embrace it  …. however, I have to admit by this stage, it was feeling rather cosy.

Darrell also pointed out that the “snuggle” also has a pocket into which “….one can secrete ones remote control” …. now that is useful ….. especially when there is robust and heated debate about what we should watch in the evening!!!

And then, Darrell decided to try the snuggle out for size too and put one of his arms through an armhole, followed by Nigel who climbed into the aforementioned remote control pocket ….. to create a weird, two headed, Bet Lynch-esque, marsupial type creature, sans legs!!!   What are we like???? 

Breakfast Is Served

Nigel is most anxious that we let everyone know that free porridge is being offered between 8.20am and 8.40am in the kitchen to promote it’s new breakfast initiative …… He says it’s “Rich, thick, robustly hearty, and nomtastic!” and  “…. well off our Richter Scale of Noms!”

However, despite Nigel’s most excellent promotional skills, to wit  being seen sat sitting at the breakfast table each morning, chowing down with several very enormous bowls of (free) porridge, nomming like there is no tomorrow, The Cook Lady has decided to ration Nigel’s intact to just one medium bowl per breakfast ….. thus leaving just a little for the students to avail themselves of!  What is he like?

De Rigueur Or Not De Rigueur?

Only Darrell could carry off this look ….

…… I knew that he was secretly very pleased when he “won” his spotty rain hat in the Secret Auld Lange Syne when we saw the New Year in dans le Italian style  and had been waiting for an apt opportunity to pop it on and to quote his exact words “…. swivel some heads” …….  and this current spell of inclement weather has certainly thrown up that aforementioned apt opportunity!

Darrell also said, that for once he feels that he is one de rigueur step ahead of Hugh of a trendsetting type nature,  although he thinks Hugh would put sequins on his, if he had one!

I have my doubts as to whether this “look” will catch on ….. but then, what do I know? 

Nigel Muses …

Do dogs know that they are really naked?

Nigel, Back On Sauce Rotation

Nigel is now firmly ensconced back in the kitchen, however whilst applauding his initiative as regards to his protective work and safety wear ……

……. The Cook Lady has suggested that though his helmet assures him a certain protection and safe passage when under the intensity of the heat lamps on the serving hatch and when delving in the dark recesses of the ice-cream freezer, they are not really necessary for sauce rotation, so perhaps he could temper it just a little.

And …. talking about sauce rotation, the kitchen is presently trialling a new tomato ketchup which Nigel is monitoring with all due diligence. So far, he says “Up take” of this new variety “….. is very encouraging”

However, not so encouraging is the state of the sugar, caused by the putting back of the spoon after tea/coffee stirrage ….. causing the formation lumps and discolourage.  I feel sure that Nigel will be putting forward a most robust argument for the introduction of sugar sachets in the next day or two if the problem continues!

Using Lethal Weapons As An Aid To Taking Pride In Ones Work …….

In the work environment a staple gun and a Stanley knife could be regarded, in untrained hands as a major Health and Safety issue ……. and as such, much professional training and robust psychological  evaluation should be carried out, before the issue of such tools.

But, in the hands of an artiste, they can produce things of great beauty!

I know this may sound very sad, but there is nothing that gives me more pleasure (at work) than a freshly  executed noticeboard!

However, such jobs have to be left until Nigel has finished his shift in the kitchen and is on his way home …… as aforementioned staple gun and Stanley knife are not the tools for a curious mind or those proffering enthusiastic assistance!!! 

Hey, Someone’s Stolen Our Title!!

……. OMD ….. OMD ………….. OMD …………we are so robustly ahead of the game!

…….. has anyone else spotted “our” preferred name, as coined by Nigel, for “Las Vegas”, during the televisual advertisements in the past couple of weeks and yelled ….. neigh, bellowed ….. “That’s Monkey’s, Darrell’s and Nigel’s preferred pet name for Las Vegas?????  Let it be known, no …. proclaimed throughout the land that we have been saying “Last Vegas” since December 2012!!!  We are such trendsetters!

Those Greedy Birds

Despite all the awful weather the birds in our garden have still managed to snaffle all the food balls I put in the feeder that Father Christmas left me ….

……. after only a few days all that was left were some very pecked morsels.

So, I have filled it up again and have made a note to myself to remind me to buy some more when I am in town next.

It’s quite a responsibility I have taken on, all those birds will almost certainly be relying on me for their food now that they know my feeder is there.

In fact, they were all probably watching me from yonder surrounding branches, tweeting to each other (but not in a mobile phone type way, obviously)  “Grubs up boys!”

Our Manly Idea Of Shopping Hell!

I don’t know how it happened, but Nigel and I found ourselves in Ikea, yesterday, on a Saturday afternoon, while their sale was on …. oh mon dieu et mon droite!!!!! 

We’d simply gone out with Lucy to look at bathroom tiles and laminate flooring, which was all very civilised, and then she said that as we were out, would we mind if we just popped  into Ikea to look at candles!!! Oh Lordie, our heads were saying a very robust and forceful  “NO …. NOT Ikea”,  but inexplicably our mouths saying “Ah YES, why not, what a treat”,  well, we didn’t want to look rude did we!    

I think Lucy sensed our tangible and palpable state of deep manly distress that Ikea is prone to bring on, when Nigel cajoled me into trying on a couple of silly hats in an effort to make me at least smile a little and embrace the deep joy of flat pack furniture ….. 

…… she sighed deeply, as women do in Ikea and then dragged sat us  down in the restaurant with a big plate of chips and Ikea reindeer gravy, and an endless refill glass of lingonberry juice and told us to stay there until she had looked at what she wanted to look at ….. which suited us just fine …… Nigel managed ten refills, then had to have a wee, and then quaffed another three glasses, before saying he was fit to burst, what is he like?

Lucy emerged about three quarters of an hour later with an Ikea carrier full of scented and coloured tea lights, candles in jars, huge candles that looked like they belonged in a church, some stinky pot pouri stuff, which she said was romantic, and a vase for putting a single flower in ….. all things that ladies like!

However, as we left Nigel spotted “the bed of his dreams” and wondered out aloud whether it was too early for him to start thinking about his next letter to Santa …….. but then, at least it would be Santa who would have to go to Ikea and not us!!!!

One Celebrity Big Brother Tooooooooo Far!

Oh dear, what promised so much just over a week ago has descended into our televisual nightmare!  Unfortunately, the antiques antics of certain characters in this years Celebrity Big Brother has caused us to choke robustly on our Christmas Quality Street and salted popcorn, resulting, sadly, in the withdrawal our patronage!

We have felt it best to close the door on it all as it were, and instead occupy our evenings with good, honest and robust debate and convivial conversation round the kitchen table, and rearrange the following words ….. thunder  the, alley, morals, cats, of !!!!!!!!!

If we were said celebrities in the Big Brother House we would try to bring fun, laughter, Darrell’s cooking and perhaps a little product placement of a confectionary type nature to the proceedings …..

…….. but certainly not rampant and salacious canooooodlings …… it’s just soooooo non de rigueur!