Our Manly Idea Of Shopping Hell!

I don’t know how it happened, but Nigel and I found ourselves in Ikea, yesterday, on a Saturday afternoon, while their sale was on …. oh mon dieu et mon droite!!!!! 

We’d simply gone out with Lucy to look at bathroom tiles and laminate flooring, which was all very civilised, and then she said that as we were out, would we mind if we just popped  into Ikea to look at candles!!! Oh Lordie, our heads were saying a very robust and forceful  “NO …. NOT Ikea”,  but inexplicably our mouths saying “Ah YES, why not, what a treat”,  well, we didn’t want to look rude did we!    

I think Lucy sensed our tangible and palpable state of deep manly distress that Ikea is prone to bring on, when Nigel cajoled me into trying on a couple of silly hats in an effort to make me at least smile a little and embrace the deep joy of flat pack furniture ….. 

…… she sighed deeply, as women do in Ikea and then dragged sat us  down in the restaurant with a big plate of chips and Ikea reindeer gravy, and an endless refill glass of lingonberry juice and told us to stay there until she had looked at what she wanted to look at ….. which suited us just fine …… Nigel managed ten refills, then had to have a wee, and then quaffed another three glasses, before saying he was fit to burst, what is he like?

Lucy emerged about three quarters of an hour later with an Ikea carrier full of scented and coloured tea lights, candles in jars, huge candles that looked like they belonged in a church, some stinky pot pouri stuff, which she said was romantic, and a vase for putting a single flower in ….. all things that ladies like!

However, as we left Nigel spotted “the bed of his dreams” and wondered out aloud whether it was too early for him to start thinking about his next letter to Santa …….. but then, at least it would be Santa who would have to go to Ikea and not us!!!!