Hugh, ever the attentive and genial host had organised a fully charged Oyster Card to afford Darrell and Nigel safe passage through London and its transport system. He apologised profusely and said that though he would have “absolutely adored” going go out and about with them, he had urgent fittings with Elt and Madge and Viv was pestering him “something rotten darlings” to collaborate on another new line to which he was about to say “Oui, oui, oui …. cherchez la femme, de la plume de mon tante!” or something like that!Nigel was naturally desperate to go on a real iconic London bus, which he said were so much more romantic than our little village Banga Bus.
….. And then proceeded to study a map of the London bus system for a couple of minutes before proceeding to recant to an amazed Hugh and Darrell the number of each and every London bus and it’s route, including every single stop on its aforementioned route!!
Darrell and Nigel decided that for their first London trip on their Oyster they would like to visit Portobello Road market …
…. where Nigel said he hoped to increase and improve his fluency and bilingualism of the native Cockney language by putting everything what he had learned from watching Eastenders into practice.
However, when he eventually found a stall on which he hoped to try out his cockney, he saw that though they had asparagus, avocados, bananas and peppers, amongst many other exotic fruit and vegetable comestibles, he couldn’t see any apples or pears …..…… and lost his nerve ….. what is he like????