Would you believe it, Darrell’s friend Hilary called him to say that she hoped he hadn’t forgotten that the Pattingham Scarecrow Festival was on this weekend …….
However, both Darrell and I agreed that this could be another most excellent distraction to help take Hugh’s mind off “’is crisis of zee confidence”, so it was a no brainer that we went ……….
Again, at first, it was a little hard to gauge Hugh’s enthusiasm, but with a guestroom now full of pickles, jams, marmalades and assorted fudges from yesterday, which Hugh had spent quite a while inspecting and reassigning to his showbiz friends ……….
……… but when he decided to treat himself to and then immediately put on a Scarecrow Festival badge …………..
…….. availed himself copiously of the free sweeties outside one of the houses
…….. and started helplessly giggling at one of the more risqué scarecrows, I was reassured that we’d got it right, again.
……. In Notting ‘ill, we ‘ave no’sing like zis, and if we did my neighbours, zey vud get zere exclusive designer peoples to make zere scareycrows for zem no! ……..
…….. I sink, I vud ask you all to come down to me and we vud have zee fun making our own no? We could even raid all zee old costumes from zee Palladium no, I still ‘ave zee key! Oooooo la la, I can see it all now!”
And then, when he spotted a scarecrow wearing a purple Lamé trouser suit, he just collapsed and was doubled up with laughter until tears rolled down his face and he had to ask Darrell for a puff of his inhaler …… “O mon, mon, mon, mon dieu” he cried “I ‘ave zat exact same outfit in my wardrobe, it’s what I like to ‘oooooover in, when zee mood takes me!”
…….. and look at next door ….. with zee three pointed headed people with zee bulbous eyes and noses and zee weirdy beardies ……. it is us, no?”
When we had all finally composed ourselves enough to walk upright again, Hugh suggested treating us to an aperitif at the local hostelry, and then couldn’t quite believe that the village had even brewed a special Scarecrow Beer to celebrate the festivities. Well, it would have looked most rude not to quaff several ample samples “out of zee respect”
“Ahhhh boyz, what are you like? Zis has been soooooooo much fun. My stomach, it aches so much with all zee laughing no? You ‘ave almost done me in, no!!!!!” he laughed