Lucy graduated yesterday, with great aplomb!!!!! She can now do mahooosive sums of a very complicated VAT and Tax type nature. We are soooo proud, especially as she got a first, which we think means that she was top of the class!
So to mark the occasion we made her a special card to tell her how aforementionably proud we were of her.
Anyway, Lucy could only invite two special people to see her get her augmental scroll, one was obviously was her mum
…. and the other, she decided ought to be Nigel to help encourage and inspire him to get his SATS. Poor Nigel was quite overcome, but at the same time deeply honoured and proud to be escorting the cleverest girl in the class to her graduation and as such guarded his invitation within an inch of his life …. memorising his seat number:- Dress Circle, Row E, Seat 2 …. lest he should forget.
Nigel made his way to his seat on his own, feeling very important, while Lucy was already sat sitting downstairs in her gown and water board.He was then handed a humungous programme ….. and naturally, he looked for Lucy’s name first …. and he said after, he then got a mahooooosive lump in his throat!
There were a lot of ceremonials to get through, Nigel clapped politely, but all he really wanted to see was Lucy take to the stage.
And when she did ….. he forget himself and all decorum, and yelled and cheered like someone possessed, so that everyone was under no illusion that this was “our Lucy”
A bit of a queue started to build up behind her when she was with the Vice Chancellor, because not only did she get a scroll, she also got NOT ONE, BUT TWO special prizes, one for being a most excellent student handing her homework in on time and never forgetting her pencil case and the other for writing a very long
story dissertation on Taxidermy (we think)! Poor Nigel was beside himself by this stage and nearly fell over the balcony …. he was whooooop whooooooping so much!
At that, Nigel said, he wasn’t ashamed to say he had a little blart….. What would Andy have said if he had been there to see his little girl having so much fuss made of her with her big brain and all that. Andy wouldn’t have whoooop whooooped, but we would have known his heart was bursting.
And now there was a new steely look of determination in Nigel’s eyes, ….. if he practiced his big sums every night, and got a SAT, he could be at a posh ceremony like this one day for his brains too…. with a water board and swishing and most romantic gown !
Nigel decided to nip into the Graduation Merchandise Shop, just in case he could find a little something to help him along the path to intellectuality, and made a most considered purchase of a pen, pencil, rubber and pencil sharpener.