While Darrell was away in Birmingham, a large package arrived addressed to all of us, Nigel and I were on tenterhooks, we knew it was from Jan The Fan because there a label on the back that said so, we were desperate to open it and reveal its contents, but wouldn’t dream of doing so without Darrell.
So yesterday, as soon as Nigel heard his key in the door, Darrell was pounced on, dragged into the lounge and onto the armchair. If the parcel hadn’t been opened there and then, I think Nigel would have been liable to spontaneously combust, he had been so excited.
Inside the large envelope were three smaller packages, one for each of us, with a message on the front. We decided that we would open each one in turn, with Nigel going first before he burst.Jan The Fan’s message was intriguing ……
It was an emotional unwrapping, as a perfect set of waterproof overalls, with high viz stripes were revealed. Should there ever be any kind of riverside catastrophe, be it of a barge or boat, fisherman or duck type nature, Nigel would not be found wanting, he was now our self appointed protector of the riverbank, well, the bit in front of our flat, at least.
On Darrell’s package too, there was another message from Jan The Fan, and naturally, more emotion ensued, as inside Darrell found a very en-trend fishing ensemble, complete with a flippy floppy hat that even had holes for Darrell’s ears. The waistcoat had lots of pockets for all Darrell’s paraphernalia, and there was even a little fishing rod! Darrell was thrilled, sure that he would not look out of place amongst all the fisherman at the bottom of the garden, especially on a match day.
And for me, well, I think Jan The Fan’s sentiments were meant to be tongue in cheek , because it was a Police uniform, intended to help me assume peace when Darrell and Nigel’s natural joie de vivre occasionally need a little gentle but authoritative curbing. We all laughed so much I thought I might need to get a paper bag for Darrell to breath into when he couldn’t catch his breathe. Naturally, I will only wear it within the confines of our flat, I don’t want to be charged with impersonating a Police Officer if I went out in it, however, it might come in useful should I ever find myself invited to an event of a fancy dress, Cops and Robbers type nature on the Evesham party circuit (if there is a party circuit)