Thursday, 31 May 2012

The End Of An Era …

A sad dayIt is with heavy heart that I have some very sad news to impart today….. it looks like our halcyon days of happy rush photocopying are being brought to a sudden and abrupt end.  We sensed something was afoot in a Derek Accorah type way but never suspected it would happen quite so soon.Replaced by technologyHow I am going to break this news to Darrell I just don’t know.  Undoubtedly it will have a detrimental affect on the  recovery of his arm but I hope robustly that it doesn’t lead him to being permanently slung in his sling! He will undoubtedly need time alone in his room to gather his thoughts and muse copiously about what the future holds..... New photocopiersYesterday the old photocopiers were removed and the new ones installed ….  Jobs for MonkeysNigel tried valiantly to slow down the process by tying himself to the main copier, but  in the end all we could do was watch in silent tears and snotty sniffs, before Nigel had to steal himself away when the situation became too painful for him to watch.
Alone with his sadnessThe new machines work by using isotonic imagery, or something like that, which in lay persons terms means that they work off the power of your fingerprints, very  much in the same way as we are identified when we purchase our lunch from the kitchen.
IsotonicWe understand that there had been heated debate and candid interchange  as to whether the machines could cope with our lack of  fingertips and maintain the constant flow of rush photocopying.End of an eraBut in the end, despite robust negotiation, it was felt that our positions could no longer be justified or sustained ……. and we are now to be made obsolete.
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word.
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word


Athyn said...

Aww is there no way round it? Can they find you something else to do? You are such helpful monkeys..

Anonymous said...

Oh NO!! Say it isn't so!! Don't give up; there must be a way to fix this...I know they need you ......Hang in there....Loving wishes..Dianne

Mr.D said...

Don't become Luddites. I'm sure there is a way round it.
If you contact James Bond or the Mission Impossible people, they will be able to solve the fingerprint problem.
Failing that, employ someone as a fingerprint technician, who stands by the machine, digit at the ready and available to finger whatever needs fingering.

marc said...

i think this could be taken to a board of some sort is this discrimination are you classed as having some form of disability due to lack of fingerprints are you getting redundancy pay were you given notice
never mind boys chin up you can pursue your other talents may be become testers for all sorts of products you could write a book take up art what ever you do we are with you big love Marc

marc said...

Hugh said can not tom the scientist get hold of a finger for you you could put it on a stick and poke things big love Hugh

Anonymous said...

Great idea from Marc..couldn't Tom create a glove with fingerprints for this dastardly machine?????...Dianne

Pamela said...

Oh lads what a shame! There must be something out there for 3 strapping boys. At least you won't add to the unemployment figures as you haven't got a NI No.

Di said...

Oh NO - this is dreadful! Mind you, judging from one of the photos perhaps Nigel could get a job as a bricklayer? Where he's hiding in the corner, I could swear that's a builder's b*m I see at the top of his jeans!

Failing that, I'm throwing my support (girdle?) behind Hugh's suggestion of a finger on a stick' :)

Sigh, things just won't be the same.


marc said...

Its a sad day indeed and we send a big hug and big love as some things are out of our hands but you have each other so hang on in there boys we are with you all the way big love marc hugh and Co

lynda said...

Don't you boys dare to give up!! Bring in the union!!
I'm so sorry - but I have to say I have absolutely laughed my socks off at this post. (sorry boys) It is a total masterpiece - photos and all. I swear it would win a prize. Is there some sort of 'Oscar' for Blog posts?? If so I want to nominate this one.
Grandma Winnie sends her love to you - she is very annoyed at me laughing - sorry again Boys! She said she would employ you all any day - you are all so talented! She also said to tell Nigel to pull his wee trousers up - he's showing a Builder's Bum!! xx

Lynda, Grandma Winnie & Hamish xxx