It takes an awful lot to floor us, but we have all been completely and totally nonplussed not to mention knocked for six ….. seven …. eight ….. nine …… and ten ….. and the rest ……………
……….. because, when Nigel went to see if there was any post, there was only one letter, and spookily enough it was addressed to him ……
…..we have to admit it did look a bit posh and was emblazoned with Buckingham Palace and ER …. but we’ve been caught out by such envelopes before and just thought it was probably from some sort of life insurance company trying to lure us in with above average presentation, ….. however we did wonder why they would be writing to Nigel!
But, when we opened the envelope and saw it’s contents Nigel started hyperventilating immediately, which is normally Darrell’s jurisdiction when overwhelmed, and we were indeed fearful that we might have to administer gas and air to the poor chap, because the letter really had come from Buckingham Palace …..
…….. It said “The Lord Chamberlain is commanded by Her Majesty to invite Nigel to a Garden Party at Buckingham Palace!” ……. oh my life , The Queen, Her Majesty long to reign over us, wants Nigel to go for tea …… our Nigel!!!
….. and then we started to worry that this was a cruel and heartless jape, but when I phoned Buckingham Palace to speak to someone of great import, they said “Yes, Her Majesty had commanded the Lord Chamberlain to invite Nigel to tea in the garden, something to do with services to sauce rotation” ….. but the line was a bit fuzzy, so I may have misheard that bit!!! But YES it was true!!!
There was an awful lot of bumpf in the envelope, which we need to read through very slowly and then make copious notes ….. we do not want Nigel to be the cause of any constitutional faux pas that could bring shame and disgrace upon the House of Greysquirrel! ….. However we could not help but notice that cameras are not allowed within the Palace’s confines …. which is a bit of a blow to this blog, so we will, I am afraid, we will have to rely on Nigel’s memory and vivid descriptions to paint a picture of the occasion for our followers…….
….. And as to matters of court apparel it has been decreed that Nigel should wear either a morning coat, lounge suit or uniform, national costume and chains of office, BUT no medals …… which presents several problems, as Nigel possesses none of the aforementioned …… only dungarees, jeans, swimming trunks and his Morris Dancing outfit, but we are not sure if that counts as national costume?The timetable of events looks most romantic with much mention of tents, and as Nigel has never been camping before this is almost an adventure in itself ….. plus there will be the Yeoman of the Guard holding ground ….. Gentlemen at Arms forming lanes ….. and a small number of individual presentations ….. which undoubtedly includes Nigel and then ……… tea!!!
There is so much to digest …… but when you have the collywobbles like we’ve all got at the moment it’s all so hard to take in …… …… so we now need to calm down …….……. and more importantly keep Nigel on as even a keel as possible too!
Eventually, Nigel announced that he thought he ought to go and have a little lie down before he started to practice his curtsey …..