When Andy asked if anyone would like to accompany him to the local garden centre to get a couple of growbags and stuff I thought “Why not, it may help to blow away some of my Sunday afternoon cobwebs!”
However, it wasn’t quite the pleasant Sunday saunter I had expected and goodness knows what Percy Thrower would have made of it all! Since when did zombie gardens become on trend? I can’t remember seeing anything like this on any coverage of The Chelsea Flower Show. It was all very perplexing and something I hope Andy doesn’t plan to adopt dans le jardin chez nous, garden gnomes may be thought of as a little old fashioned, and though it might prevent our neighbours marauding dogs from coming into our garden looking for bones and the such like ……this is just one gardening step too far!
….. only to be greeted by some very lively snakes …. …… that seemed to follow my every move …..
…. and a Mexican tarantula that seemed to have spun even more cobwebs than were filling my by now spinning head!
…. The mice were cute but frighteningly lively, but nothing like Nigel’s sedate mouse
Brain Brian. Thank goodness they were across the room from the said tarantula spider, because given half the chance he’d have had ‘em, whole, I’m sure!
I was then a little alarmed to see this guinea pig apparently at liberty in the garden centre, I went to stroke it, and was immediately struck by how cold and stiff it felt, “OMG” I thought “It’s dead, and rigour mortis has set in.” I froze on the spot, unable to move, as if struck too by the rigours of mortis, only for Andy to find me and pick it up saying “Good these, aren't they? Brilliant what they can do with a bit of plastic these days!” I have never been so relieved to wheel a trolley full of compost and fertilizer to the check out, I felt robustly wrung out! Next time Andy asks for a hand I think I’ll let Darrell and Nigel volunteer, garden centres are just too traumatic for me!