Friday, 19 October 2012

To Quote Elton John …. “Cold, Cold Heart …..”

I am trying to “act normal” while Nigel is being held “to ransom” and Darrell is rendered totally incapable, however when I found a unexpected bubble wrap envelope in my work sling my heart ran cold…..
KidnapI make no apologies for admitting that my immediate thought was of a gruesome type nature to wit ……“OMG, what if body parts lie within?” ….. as it did feel rather soft and squidgy!
WGHSRather than open it there and then and cause possible alarm among the young ladies  I carried the aforementioned soft and squidgy bubble wrap envelope with all due diligence back to my office.
RansomMy heart pounded as I opened it ….. to reveal more bubble wrap …..
Nigels Arm….. wrapped around a scanned image of little pudgy Nigel’s arm, with his little bell a-jangling …….. 
Too much to bear…… this was too much for me to bear …. some callous infidel had forced quaking Nigel onto one of the copiers, sandwiched him between the plate and the screen, almost certainly causing him to suffer temporarily blindness  and filling him full of radiation or whatever photocopiers run on ….. when will this nightmare end???????


Mr.D said...

I once kidnapped a person's bat and another time a gecko because they were not being looked after properly. I hope this was not the case with Nigel and you had given him all the necessary care and attention.
Nigel is so eloquent and loquacious, I'm sure he would have said something if this was the case. Would one call the RSPCC or the RSPCA or Ghostbusters?

Di said...

Oh no!! At least they didn't sit him on the copier and take a piccie of his 'builders b*m'.

We have a pow pow here today, Abi is unwell so is bringing Marcel round for the day. Hank, Marvin and Marcel intend to put their heads together to see if they can help by raising a ransom. I suspect the neighbourhood won't take kindly to them knocking on doors carol singing two months ahead of time though :(

Keep positive - or is that negative seeing as it's a photo copy.

Di xxx

Anonymous said...

Who could possibly do such a heinous thing???....As the days past, the mystery can we possibly have hope this strange happening will have a Wonderful Life sort of ending??? Perhaps we should be trying to get a message to Nigel via the media to hang in there...Very much concerned here...Dianne

Anonymous said...

PS... Perhaps you should quietly question one and all to see if they saw someone placing the package in your hanging eye witness would be invaluable...questions, questions, questions...Dianne

Mrs A. said...

Norm here. Very concerned with the where abouts of Nigel. So the conspirators have access to a photo copier then. Do all the office staff have an alibi at the time it was taken!!!.

marc said...

i read this out of order if i had read this first i would have worried no end or bell end as is the case of the photo with his bell on the end of his tiny little arm know he is back did they give him chiness burns or pinch him was he treated well we need to find out big love marc

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