Sunday, 16 October 2011

Lucozade Energy 'YES' List - Seven Artists, Seven Designs, Seven Limited Edition Drinks .... And Only One Darrell!

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It seems that our first ever “professional” review for Lucozade Sports Lite Cherry got such rave reviews up at the Lucozade Towers, that they felt compelled to offer us another 'gig' …… how Lucozadetastic is that? 
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However in our haste to do another insightful and informative review, extolling the virtues of Lucozade Energy drinks we made a bit of a faux pas ..... because the minute we heard from Olivia at Lucozade Darrell quickly grabbed his PE kit and was over in the gym before you could say "legs akimbo" ……………
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Darrell steps up to the plate for another Lucozade review!
However, if we had taken the time to read the bumf from Olivia properly we would have seen that what she actually wanted us to do was a review of the new 'YES List' limited edition bottles and not a series of gratuitous shots of Darrell's firm thighs, derriere and sweat beaded brow, whilst under going a rigorous and robust exercise session, in order to highlight the fast acting and rehydrating qualities of Lucozade energy drinks!!!! Doh!
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But, rather than consign Darrell's efforts to the recycle bin,  we have decided to run our original post today, with a few minor amendments, so that the services of Darrell's team of specialist lighting engineers, photographers, choreographers, wardrobe mistresses and make up artists are not wasted and then tomorrow we will review and put our own spin on the actual story behind the YES List Limited Edition Bottles. So here goes ..... 
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Darrell was more than eager to put Lucozade energy drinks through their paces again and so before you could say Usain Bolt he had hot footed it over to the school gym in his lunch break to see Brenda the PE lady ….. 
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……. to see if she could suggest a few activities that would test his body and the powers of Lucozade to the max.
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Her first suggestion was for him to stick the netball and hockey kits in on a warm wash, (while she put away the sports mats) as this would be good for his upper body strength and stamina. And as the laundry was rather steamy and warm Darrell availed himself of a few sips of regular Lucozade before moving into the gym.
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Brenda then suggested that Darrell did a few stretching exercises on the buck ….. Darrell did a double take and looked at Brenda in a strange way but decided it best not to ask too many questions …..
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However, to be perfectly honest, I don’t really feel that this was the best equipment on which to display showcase Darrell’s erm skills … 
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….. and it certainly did not provide a flattering vista of Darrell's very dubious shorts!
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…….  on which Darrell’s upper body strength was tested repeatedly as he attempted to mount the bike …. his feet never actually touched the pedals!
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Brenda then suggested lifting a light few weights, however by now Darrell’s upper body was totally exhausted
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….. and Darrell had to be rescued from under one of the said weights!
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A patient Brenda then tried another tack and suggested a little circuit training …..
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But Darrell’s finishing position wasn’t quite what she had in mind ….. face down and totally knackered shattered
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However, after Darrell had consumed a bottle of Lucozade Energy Blackcurrant Brenda finally found that a refreshed and rehydrated Darrell excelled at blind football ……
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………. and trophy polishing ……… what is he like?
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Then it was back to Resources for Darrell for an afternoon of rush photocopying jobs.  However, Sandra said that she would have to have a serious word with us in the next day or two “…about the amount of shameful product placement that had been going on in the office lately” !!!!!!!!
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marc said...

ROFL what are you like it started with the plate lol i don't think i will be buying shorts like yours lol , your doing a fab job wel done you, what product placement ? i don't see any of that myself and i have a eye for that sort of thing , but i do keep wanting to go out and buy lucozade drinks and dreaming of orange bottles cant see why must be some thing i read
your a picture of health cant wait for tomorrow they did good when they got you on their team big need some Lucozade refreshment drink with my cornflakes love Marc

Di said...

Soooooooooo funny - found myself looking for Cherry Lite at the supermarket last week. Is this the result of product placement and subliminal suggestion? I think Marc has a good point! Di xx

Mr. D said...

How does the poster know that Darrell´s thighs are firm? Answer me that Mrs. G.
Unhealthy cheesy chips followed by a super healthy sports drink - I can't remember for the life of me which make.
Ah yes - was it vodka?
You made me laugh once again today!

P.S. Are all photocopying requests rush jobs?