Friday, 1 April 2011

Marmite Shortage Results In Stock Piling

Marmite Shortage
We’re very concerned because we’ve heard that there is a national shortage of Marmite! It’s something to do with it being a knock on effect from the breweries not producing as much beer, because of increasing pub closures…..  which in turn has resulted in there not being enough yeast by-products left over to make Marmite ……. We are bereft, as it really is our savoury spread of choice and something we enjoy and partake in  every single day, including Christmas Day, Birthdays, High Days, Low Days, Away Days and Holy Days ………. 
Marmite Shortage 2
What will we do if we can’t enjoy our daily Dairy Lea spread and Marmite sandwiches?  And poor Nigel? He has it on his toast, under his beans …. this is a disaster, the implications incalculatable ….  ….
Picture 169
Darrell went down to the SPAR and did the unthinkable …..he bought their entire stock, (both in glass jars and the new squeezable variety).  We are not proud. We are deeply ashamed, as we put our own needs before those of others.  Believe us, we won’t sleep easy in our beds tonight, for we have left a small village community on the borders of Wolverhampton without Marmite!
Marmite will be spread very thinly from now on …..


marc said...

all is fair in love and war as they say its first come first served , the early bird gets the worm , he who waits is often to late, grab the marmite by the horns ,fight the good fight for your marmite rights, and you have to think there a lots of peps who dont like it so you can have their share thats mine and hughs and the girls for a start so in fact you could go and get more and i am sure your local shop only stocked a few if they want a savory spread they can have veggiemite or bovril or as hugh would say let them eat cake big love marc

Mr.D said...

Maybe there isn't really a shortage but just the rumour of a shortage. This sends out folk on a buying frenzy.
Don't spread it thin - it just doesn't work. Ration it by eating if for only some meals.
If you are a Marmite fan, then that is exactly what you want. I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt that Bovril or the Australian version would suffice, even if you met a man who just smiled and gave you a Vegemite sandwich.

Di said...

I'm browsing your blog for my daily 'fix' whilst having my cup of tea in bed. Just casually mentioned the Marmite shortage. Ooops! Len shouted 'WHAT' and almost spilt his mug of tea - he's now talking about plans to stockpile as Marmite is his tip top spread of choice. Thanks for the warning...................oh, no, just realised it's April Fools Day! You literally caught both of us out :)) I'll still check the news just in case it's true - and Len says have you ever tried Marmite and banana sandwiches? Di x